These are the cookies my friends made me for my birthday.Bishounen + cookies. Bishounen you can eat.
Too awesome!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Twilight Bashing
I think I have just run across too many of those, “why this books sucks essays” because I am getting fed up with the Twilight bashing.
Let me preface this by saying, I am not a Twihard. However, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the series does have a certain charm – and I love vampires. If the novels were completely bad then it would be impossible to hone in on any one aspect that needed improvement. Since the essence of the novel is solid, the areas that need work stand out.
I have already written about the problems I have with the Twilight series. You can read about it here.
From what I have observed, Twi-haters fall into two categories, those who read the novels and those who didn’t. Let me just briefly address the latter.
There are always people who dislike something simply because it’s popular. Twilight is no exception. I was at a party recently and Twilight came up in the conversation. The young man I was chatting with jokingly told me he had made it his life’s mission to have nothing to do with Twilight. He was exaggerating for dramatic effect of course, but not by much. This is an attitude I see with a lot of people.
“Did you read the books,” I ask the random Twi-hater. “Did you see the movies?”
The answer is always “no,” and they usually follow up with, “It looks stupid.”
Well, that’s just plain silly. Hugh Laurie looks stupid, that doesn’t make him so. (I say that with great respect. I adore Hugh Laurie. I think he’s brilliant and talented – but, c’mon, he looks like a bug eyed twit.) I dismiss anyone who claims to not like something because “everyone likes it.” I fall into that trap myself. If something is too popular I tend to ignore it. But I have never claimed to dislike something I have never experienced.
Of those who have read the novels, one of the top arguments is, “Twilight is not as good as Harry Potter.” Just for the record, I agree. But, why should it be? Why are we inviting a comparison anyway? I don’t recall Stephanie Meyer and J.K. Rowling entering a best written teen fiction novel contest. Yes, Meyer’s isn’t as sophisticated a writer as Rowling but Rowling isn’t as good as David Sedaris. Just because the books belong to the same genre comparing them against each other doesn’t make sense, nor does it prove anything. They were never in competition. Neither Meyer nor Rowling set out to become the next “it” writer. They simply had a story to tell and they told it the best way they could.
Another illogical Twi-hater argument is, “Twilight is bad because Bella is a Mary-Sue.” My response to that is, so what? Creating a cookie cutter character is perfect in some instances - for example, Tintin. Tintin is one of the most beloved comic characters of all time and he is a complete self-insert of the author. He doesn’t have a favorite food, an eye color or even a last name. That format works for Tintin and it works for Twilight too. Bella is mean to be the “every girl” character in a romance novel. And Meyer does describe Bella, just not with any great detail. (By the way, for you comparison lovers Rowling didn’t tell us Malfoy was blonde until book three.) The details of Bella’s hair, face, eyes, etc. is not important to the story. In fact, the less said about Bella’s physical appearance, the better. The point of romance novels is escapism. If Bella was described down to the last atom then the audience would have a more difficult time imagining themselves in her shoes. Edward, the object of her affection, is described in great detail. We know that Meyer understands how to paint a picture. With Bella she consciously chooses not to do so.
Another unfounded Twi-hater argument is the “sparkly vampire” bash. People love to point out how un-vampire like, and thus how not dangerous the vampires in Twilight are. Sparkly vampires just “make it stupid.” Hold the phone here kids. How exactly are the vamps not dangerous – or did I read a different novel? The whole latter half of the book is devoted to escaping a group of crazed vampires. I can’t speak for anyone else but James, Victoria and Laurent seemed awful dangerous to me. In the second novel, Bella cuts her finger and Jasper Cullen, her boyfriend’s brother (of sorts) has to be physically restrained from ripping her apart. If you were in Bella’s place and someone you trusted came after you, to eat you… yeah, that’s scary. There is plenty of dangerous vampire action going on. Anyone remember the Volturi? They didn’t play a big role but they certainly did their fair share of eating and torturing helpless victims. Just because the vampires bounce light like a brilliant cut diamond it doesn’t make them less dangerous. In fact, vampires that can go out in the day and sparkle like jewels seem far more dangerous to me than distorted, fetid, monsters in lurking the darkness. Think about it, who are you less likely to run away screaming from?
The last and most valid argument is that the writing in Twilight isn’t great. Okay, Meyer’s writing has flaws, but unless I missed something, Twilight was her first novel.
“I could write a better story than that,” just about every Twi-hater claims.
Okay, then do it.
Writing is not easy, folks. Like anything else, it comes more naturally to some than others. As a first novel, Meyer really did a bang-up job. She offered us a heartfelt, romantic piece that people across the board can enjoy.
And given the sheer number of people who do enjoy it, she must have done something right.
So give the sparkly vamps a break guys. Let’s talk about why we like Twilight for a change.
Let me preface this by saying, I am not a Twihard. However, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the series does have a certain charm – and I love vampires. If the novels were completely bad then it would be impossible to hone in on any one aspect that needed improvement. Since the essence of the novel is solid, the areas that need work stand out.
I have already written about the problems I have with the Twilight series. You can read about it here.
From what I have observed, Twi-haters fall into two categories, those who read the novels and those who didn’t. Let me just briefly address the latter.
There are always people who dislike something simply because it’s popular. Twilight is no exception. I was at a party recently and Twilight came up in the conversation. The young man I was chatting with jokingly told me he had made it his life’s mission to have nothing to do with Twilight. He was exaggerating for dramatic effect of course, but not by much. This is an attitude I see with a lot of people.
“Did you read the books,” I ask the random Twi-hater. “Did you see the movies?”
The answer is always “no,” and they usually follow up with, “It looks stupid.”
Well, that’s just plain silly. Hugh Laurie looks stupid, that doesn’t make him so. (I say that with great respect. I adore Hugh Laurie. I think he’s brilliant and talented – but, c’mon, he looks like a bug eyed twit.) I dismiss anyone who claims to not like something because “everyone likes it.” I fall into that trap myself. If something is too popular I tend to ignore it. But I have never claimed to dislike something I have never experienced.
Of those who have read the novels, one of the top arguments is, “Twilight is not as good as Harry Potter.” Just for the record, I agree. But, why should it be? Why are we inviting a comparison anyway? I don’t recall Stephanie Meyer and J.K. Rowling entering a best written teen fiction novel contest. Yes, Meyer’s isn’t as sophisticated a writer as Rowling but Rowling isn’t as good as David Sedaris. Just because the books belong to the same genre comparing them against each other doesn’t make sense, nor does it prove anything. They were never in competition. Neither Meyer nor Rowling set out to become the next “it” writer. They simply had a story to tell and they told it the best way they could.
Another illogical Twi-hater argument is, “Twilight is bad because Bella is a Mary-Sue.” My response to that is, so what? Creating a cookie cutter character is perfect in some instances - for example, Tintin. Tintin is one of the most beloved comic characters of all time and he is a complete self-insert of the author. He doesn’t have a favorite food, an eye color or even a last name. That format works for Tintin and it works for Twilight too. Bella is mean to be the “every girl” character in a romance novel. And Meyer does describe Bella, just not with any great detail. (By the way, for you comparison lovers Rowling didn’t tell us Malfoy was blonde until book three.) The details of Bella’s hair, face, eyes, etc. is not important to the story. In fact, the less said about Bella’s physical appearance, the better. The point of romance novels is escapism. If Bella was described down to the last atom then the audience would have a more difficult time imagining themselves in her shoes. Edward, the object of her affection, is described in great detail. We know that Meyer understands how to paint a picture. With Bella she consciously chooses not to do so.
Another unfounded Twi-hater argument is the “sparkly vampire” bash. People love to point out how un-vampire like, and thus how not dangerous the vampires in Twilight are. Sparkly vampires just “make it stupid.” Hold the phone here kids. How exactly are the vamps not dangerous – or did I read a different novel? The whole latter half of the book is devoted to escaping a group of crazed vampires. I can’t speak for anyone else but James, Victoria and Laurent seemed awful dangerous to me. In the second novel, Bella cuts her finger and Jasper Cullen, her boyfriend’s brother (of sorts) has to be physically restrained from ripping her apart. If you were in Bella’s place and someone you trusted came after you, to eat you… yeah, that’s scary. There is plenty of dangerous vampire action going on. Anyone remember the Volturi? They didn’t play a big role but they certainly did their fair share of eating and torturing helpless victims. Just because the vampires bounce light like a brilliant cut diamond it doesn’t make them less dangerous. In fact, vampires that can go out in the day and sparkle like jewels seem far more dangerous to me than distorted, fetid, monsters in lurking the darkness. Think about it, who are you less likely to run away screaming from?
The last and most valid argument is that the writing in Twilight isn’t great. Okay, Meyer’s writing has flaws, but unless I missed something, Twilight was her first novel.
“I could write a better story than that,” just about every Twi-hater claims.
Okay, then do it.
Writing is not easy, folks. Like anything else, it comes more naturally to some than others. As a first novel, Meyer really did a bang-up job. She offered us a heartfelt, romantic piece that people across the board can enjoy.
And given the sheer number of people who do enjoy it, she must have done something right.
So give the sparkly vamps a break guys. Let’s talk about why we like Twilight for a change.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Stinking Bugs
As some of you already know, there is a pest control problem in my apartment in Atlanta. For weeks my sister and I have been battling invisible blood suckers. It’s exhausting – especially for me. For every one bite my sister receives I get about ten. The bugs prefer me. Perhaps it’s because they know I hate them more.
For whatever reason, I have had to take some extreme measures in the past few weeks, taping my ankles before bed (they love my ankles), tucking in my shirt, and even wearing long sleeves on a hot Georgia night. They got me anyway, but by golly I made them work for it!
At any rate, I was extra thrilled this year to come home and celebrate the holidays. Ten days in a bug free house! What bliss! No more bandages, no more itching and no more waking up in the night with that creepy crawling feeling. You know what I mean. The feeling that wakes you up at 1 AM because you know they’re crawling on you right now.
One eight hour drive later, we were home. I went to my room to drop off my suitcase when I heard a quiet yet distinct buzzing sound. I was certain it was my imagination; after all I had just left Bug Central. This was a safe zone - a bug free zone.
Or so I thought.
The very first night a nasty looking bug dive bombed me in bed. I screamed and bolted for my mom’s bedroom (as any self respecting grown-up would do.) My mom told me not to worry - it was just a harmless stink bug. I insisted that the bug was somehow “after me” in the same undeterred yet motiveless way that the monsters from horror films are always “after you” as soon as you shut off the TV.
Or maybe that’s just me.
But my mom was confident that the bugs had not randomly fixated on me.
“They’re everywhere this year,” she assured me.
We caught the bug and released it outside. I decided not to let this bother me. I was home and I wanted to relax. I shut the lights and curled up in my bed.
I was just on the edge of sleep when I heard the buzzing sound. Naturally I flipped out and got up. Being the brave, mature adult I am, I ran to my sister’s room in a panic. (My mom was already asleep and thus unavailable.) My ever dutiful sister got out of bed and volunteered to help me hunt down the bug menace.
After a brief search we found a couple of bugs sitting on the window sill. We opened the window and let them fly out. Now, I was exhausted. Being woken up just as I am about to falls asleep always leaves me very drained, plus bug hunting is stressful work. I fell asleep right away.
The next night, I checked the window sill and everything seemed clear. I shut the lights slipped under the covers. About ten second later I heard the dreaded buzzing. Being the sophisticated woman I am, I ran to my sister’s room. By all rights my sister should have been annoyed but she’s a fighter. The bugs had come back after she had kicked them out – now it was personal. She grabbed a flash light and we searched the room. After finding nothing, I decided to check the window again. Perhaps they were behind the curtain? They were. To my horror, clinging behind the navy blue curtain were at least eight fat stink bugs. I lost it. I dashed to the other side of the room and started, not screaming per say, but declaring in a high register that I hated bugs.
It’s not as if I was actually attempting to impart information on anyone. It’s just when you find eight fat stink bugs behind your curtains you’re obliged to hop up and down screaming, “oh my god, hate them, I hate them, I hate them so much!”
My sister’s generous nature had worn off. She crushed, smashed and drowned all the bugs – there were just too many to save, she insisted. One by one the bugs were uncovered and executed.
Even after the curtain was spotless (checked and double checked) there was no way I was going to sleep in that room – the bug room. So my sister begrudgingly let me bunk with her.
A couple of days passed peacefully.
One night, while sitting on my bed reading an old marine biology textbook (don’t ask), I got dive bombed by another bug. It bounced on my head, got briefly caught in my hair, and then landed on my nightstand. After screaming bloody murder and violently shaking my head like a crazed heavy metal drummer on speed, I ran off to get my sister. She wrapped the bug in a Kleenex and flushed him to his doom. My mom told me not to worry.
“They’re everywhere this year,” she reminded me.
Ironically, I had only found two other bugs in the entire house. The bug count in my room was 10+. Perhaps it was their headquarters.
After the bug was introduced to the toilet I went straight to bed. My stomach had been hurting the entire day and I was eager to sleep away the pain.
Around 1 AM I woke up. My stomach was on fire. Waves of nausea assaulted me. I ran to the bathroom and proceeded to become very ill. I must have eaten something that didn’t agree with me and my faithful body was doing her best to get rid of it as fast as possible. When I left the bathroom around 2:30 I was in tears. There wasn’t a single part of my body that wasn’t in pain.I cried myself to sleep.
At 5 AM I woke up and got sick again. This time I couldn’t go back to sleep. I came out of the bathroom light headed and weak. I curled up in the bed miserable. My head was pounding, my throat was burning, my stomach was on fire, even my lower back was in agony. I didn’t think I could feel any worse.
Then I heard it. Buzzing.
I couldn’t move, I was too weak and in too much pain. And yet, for the first time I wasn’t afraid of the bugs. As soon as I could move again I swore I was going to find an army issue flame thrower and roast the little bastards alive. Oh how glorious it would be! Me, standing there, with black paint and camouflage holding a flame thrower twice my height. Perhaps I would say something clever, “die you buggers,” or perhaps I would say nothing before I squeezed the trigger. The bugs would make a shrill little squeal before exploding like overdone popcorn. I would laugh. It would be glorious.
Suddenly, the retard-tastic exterminator from Atlanta popped into my head.
“There are serious psychological consequences to a pest infestation,” he had warned me.
Of course, I had not taken him seriously. Who would?
“He’s nuts,” I told my sister after he was out of earshot. “No one goes loopy because of a few bugs.”
As I lay there dreaming about fricasseeing my room invaders I wasn’t laughing manically, but if I could have, I would have.
For whatever reason, I have had to take some extreme measures in the past few weeks, taping my ankles before bed (they love my ankles), tucking in my shirt, and even wearing long sleeves on a hot Georgia night. They got me anyway, but by golly I made them work for it!
At any rate, I was extra thrilled this year to come home and celebrate the holidays. Ten days in a bug free house! What bliss! No more bandages, no more itching and no more waking up in the night with that creepy crawling feeling. You know what I mean. The feeling that wakes you up at 1 AM because you know they’re crawling on you right now.
One eight hour drive later, we were home. I went to my room to drop off my suitcase when I heard a quiet yet distinct buzzing sound. I was certain it was my imagination; after all I had just left Bug Central. This was a safe zone - a bug free zone.
Or so I thought.
The very first night a nasty looking bug dive bombed me in bed. I screamed and bolted for my mom’s bedroom (as any self respecting grown-up would do.) My mom told me not to worry - it was just a harmless stink bug. I insisted that the bug was somehow “after me” in the same undeterred yet motiveless way that the monsters from horror films are always “after you” as soon as you shut off the TV.
Or maybe that’s just me.
But my mom was confident that the bugs had not randomly fixated on me.
“They’re everywhere this year,” she assured me.
We caught the bug and released it outside. I decided not to let this bother me. I was home and I wanted to relax. I shut the lights and curled up in my bed.
I was just on the edge of sleep when I heard the buzzing sound. Naturally I flipped out and got up. Being the brave, mature adult I am, I ran to my sister’s room in a panic. (My mom was already asleep and thus unavailable.) My ever dutiful sister got out of bed and volunteered to help me hunt down the bug menace.
After a brief search we found a couple of bugs sitting on the window sill. We opened the window and let them fly out. Now, I was exhausted. Being woken up just as I am about to falls asleep always leaves me very drained, plus bug hunting is stressful work. I fell asleep right away.
The next night, I checked the window sill and everything seemed clear. I shut the lights slipped under the covers. About ten second later I heard the dreaded buzzing. Being the sophisticated woman I am, I ran to my sister’s room. By all rights my sister should have been annoyed but she’s a fighter. The bugs had come back after she had kicked them out – now it was personal. She grabbed a flash light and we searched the room. After finding nothing, I decided to check the window again. Perhaps they were behind the curtain? They were. To my horror, clinging behind the navy blue curtain were at least eight fat stink bugs. I lost it. I dashed to the other side of the room and started, not screaming per say, but declaring in a high register that I hated bugs.
It’s not as if I was actually attempting to impart information on anyone. It’s just when you find eight fat stink bugs behind your curtains you’re obliged to hop up and down screaming, “oh my god, hate them, I hate them, I hate them so much!”
My sister’s generous nature had worn off. She crushed, smashed and drowned all the bugs – there were just too many to save, she insisted. One by one the bugs were uncovered and executed.
Even after the curtain was spotless (checked and double checked) there was no way I was going to sleep in that room – the bug room. So my sister begrudgingly let me bunk with her.
A couple of days passed peacefully.
One night, while sitting on my bed reading an old marine biology textbook (don’t ask), I got dive bombed by another bug. It bounced on my head, got briefly caught in my hair, and then landed on my nightstand. After screaming bloody murder and violently shaking my head like a crazed heavy metal drummer on speed, I ran off to get my sister. She wrapped the bug in a Kleenex and flushed him to his doom. My mom told me not to worry.
“They’re everywhere this year,” she reminded me.
Ironically, I had only found two other bugs in the entire house. The bug count in my room was 10+. Perhaps it was their headquarters.
After the bug was introduced to the toilet I went straight to bed. My stomach had been hurting the entire day and I was eager to sleep away the pain.
Around 1 AM I woke up. My stomach was on fire. Waves of nausea assaulted me. I ran to the bathroom and proceeded to become very ill. I must have eaten something that didn’t agree with me and my faithful body was doing her best to get rid of it as fast as possible. When I left the bathroom around 2:30 I was in tears. There wasn’t a single part of my body that wasn’t in pain.I cried myself to sleep.
At 5 AM I woke up and got sick again. This time I couldn’t go back to sleep. I came out of the bathroom light headed and weak. I curled up in the bed miserable. My head was pounding, my throat was burning, my stomach was on fire, even my lower back was in agony. I didn’t think I could feel any worse.
Then I heard it. Buzzing.
I couldn’t move, I was too weak and in too much pain. And yet, for the first time I wasn’t afraid of the bugs. As soon as I could move again I swore I was going to find an army issue flame thrower and roast the little bastards alive. Oh how glorious it would be! Me, standing there, with black paint and camouflage holding a flame thrower twice my height. Perhaps I would say something clever, “die you buggers,” or perhaps I would say nothing before I squeezed the trigger. The bugs would make a shrill little squeal before exploding like overdone popcorn. I would laugh. It would be glorious.
Suddenly, the retard-tastic exterminator from Atlanta popped into my head.
“There are serious psychological consequences to a pest infestation,” he had warned me.
Of course, I had not taken him seriously. Who would?
“He’s nuts,” I told my sister after he was out of earshot. “No one goes loopy because of a few bugs.”
As I lay there dreaming about fricasseeing my room invaders I wasn’t laughing manically, but if I could have, I would have.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
God is a Twilight Fan
My sister and I are headed home tomorrow so, as such, we have no food in the house. Being Turkish, we have to have tea with breakfast. So, we decided to go to Wholefood and get some breakfast items that go well with tea. Sis got a bran muffin and I got a baguette.
We came home and poured the tea. As I was slicing the baguette with my favorite black ceramic knife (the one I adore because it’s just so sharp) I noticed that the bread was grainy. In fact, I noticed that it was wheat. Unfortunately the second I noticed that the baguette was wheat my brain forgot to move my finger away from the knife. Apparently slicing a wheat baguette is an automatic action but moving your finger away from a razor sharp ceramic blade isn’t. So, as you can image, I sliced my finger.
As I watched the blood dripping out of my finger and pooling onto the floor I had several thoughts at once.
The first one was, “See, this is why I don’t like wheat bread!”
The second was, “Gee I should clean the knife.”
The third was a little more specific. Yesterday I was on Tumblr and someone had blogged a couple of screen-caps from the Twilight parody. There were two images, one of the parody Bella with her finger cut and gushing blood everywhere, the second of the vampire (Jasper) tucking a napkin into his collar and holding up a fork and knife. When I saw that picture I though, “idiot, no one really ever cuts themselves like that.”
So, as I stood there in shock the pool of blood growing larger, I thought, “God must be a Twilight fan.”
We came home and poured the tea. As I was slicing the baguette with my favorite black ceramic knife (the one I adore because it’s just so sharp) I noticed that the bread was grainy. In fact, I noticed that it was wheat. Unfortunately the second I noticed that the baguette was wheat my brain forgot to move my finger away from the knife. Apparently slicing a wheat baguette is an automatic action but moving your finger away from a razor sharp ceramic blade isn’t. So, as you can image, I sliced my finger.
As I watched the blood dripping out of my finger and pooling onto the floor I had several thoughts at once.
The first one was, “See, this is why I don’t like wheat bread!”
The second was, “Gee I should clean the knife.”
The third was a little more specific. Yesterday I was on Tumblr and someone had blogged a couple of screen-caps from the Twilight parody. There were two images, one of the parody Bella with her finger cut and gushing blood everywhere, the second of the vampire (Jasper) tucking a napkin into his collar and holding up a fork and knife. When I saw that picture I though, “idiot, no one really ever cuts themselves like that.”
So, as I stood there in shock the pool of blood growing larger, I thought, “God must be a Twilight fan.”
Friday, December 16, 2011
Worst Professional Ever
So we have been having trouble with some sort of pest in the apartment. I have gotten so many bites now that my legs looks like I ran into a cactus.
Anyway, we called a pest control professional (and I use that term loosely) to come and examine the house. After checking the bed for a span of 5 seconds he proudly announced it wasn't bed bugs. I knew that. I told him over the phone it wasn't bed bug or chiggers. He asked me what chiggers were.
That should have been a clue.
At any rate, I showed him the little bug we found on the bed. He had a good hard look (with a flashlight and a magnifying glass.) After a few second of "ohhhh...." he asked where we had been lately - if we had been overseas. I said we hadn't. He told us that bugs can hitch rides on luggage. He looked nervous.
Still no word of which bug - I guess it's a bug with a passport.
I hiked up my pants leg to show him the bites. After a brief moment of shock, he exclaimed, "wow! Look at that!" He didn't examine the bites or ask me anything about them. He just seemed impressed with the bug.
He went on to inform us that all the pest control products they used were natural, "All green," he said. When I asked for specifics he just repeated that they were "all green." I asked again about the safety. Were they okay around cats? He offered us a discount.
Okay, now I was getting nervous.
But I was also getting pretty fed up. In a moment of drama, I told him he had to do something or I was going to go nuts.
The exterminator became very serious.
"There are very real psychological problems associated with a pest infestation," he said solemnly. He told us of a doctor (not one he knew or could name) that, after he had retired, began to find bugs everywhere. He even started to find bugs on his wife.
How this illustrated anything other than the debatable sanity of a supposedly real man, was beyond me.
But the exterminator had psyched himself out. He started to itch. He made a joke that he was getting them. As he slowly edged his way to the front door, he randomly decided to inform us that he had failed his certification test. Apparently he had missed a question and had filled in all the bubbles wrong after that point. He asked if we had ever done anything so stupid.
Aside from hiring him, nothing came to mind.
Then, after a short and thoroughly unrelated discussion about South Africa he left.
I don't think I'm going to get any sleep tonight over the sound of the bug laughing.
Anyway, we called a pest control professional (and I use that term loosely) to come and examine the house. After checking the bed for a span of 5 seconds he proudly announced it wasn't bed bugs. I knew that. I told him over the phone it wasn't bed bug or chiggers. He asked me what chiggers were.
That should have been a clue.
At any rate, I showed him the little bug we found on the bed. He had a good hard look (with a flashlight and a magnifying glass.) After a few second of "ohhhh...." he asked where we had been lately - if we had been overseas. I said we hadn't. He told us that bugs can hitch rides on luggage. He looked nervous.
Still no word of which bug - I guess it's a bug with a passport.
I hiked up my pants leg to show him the bites. After a brief moment of shock, he exclaimed, "wow! Look at that!" He didn't examine the bites or ask me anything about them. He just seemed impressed with the bug.
He went on to inform us that all the pest control products they used were natural, "All green," he said. When I asked for specifics he just repeated that they were "all green." I asked again about the safety. Were they okay around cats? He offered us a discount.
Okay, now I was getting nervous.
But I was also getting pretty fed up. In a moment of drama, I told him he had to do something or I was going to go nuts.
The exterminator became very serious.
"There are very real psychological problems associated with a pest infestation," he said solemnly. He told us of a doctor (not one he knew or could name) that, after he had retired, began to find bugs everywhere. He even started to find bugs on his wife.
How this illustrated anything other than the debatable sanity of a supposedly real man, was beyond me.
But the exterminator had psyched himself out. He started to itch. He made a joke that he was getting them. As he slowly edged his way to the front door, he randomly decided to inform us that he had failed his certification test. Apparently he had missed a question and had filled in all the bubbles wrong after that point. He asked if we had ever done anything so stupid.
Aside from hiring him, nothing came to mind.
Then, after a short and thoroughly unrelated discussion about South Africa he left.
I don't think I'm going to get any sleep tonight over the sound of the bug laughing.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Lina Inverse?
Wow, Artgerm is making a huge mistake naming this character Lina Inverse. He has no idea what baggage that name comes with.
EDIT: So, turns out it's not original character. According to the Defense of the Ancients wiki her name was Lina anyway. I didn't see "Inverse" written anywhere though.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I Am a Sonic Fan
I was looking for a specific piece of Sonic fanart the other day. I knew who the artist was, so I went to their website. To my surprise, it was closed. I followed a link to their new site looking for the Sonic images but the artist had not posted them. When I asked why, they told me that they were not a fan anymore. They said fans have a reputation for being aggressive, obsessed and detached from reality. They didn’t want to be associated with those types of people. They were ashamed of being a Sonic fan.
I had never heard this before. After all, I am a Sonic fan and I have never been ashamed of it. This made me curious and I started to look around.
As I went through the internet, fiction sites, Tumblr posts, chat rooms, forums and D.A. accounts, I saw a small slice of what this artist was talking about. I read all kinds of heated arguments such as, Sonic should be with Amy/Sally, the older/newer games are the best or even what makes you a “real” fan.
I am not going to get into an argument about the “best” way to prove a true fan or who Sonic should be dating. I want to address this increasingly prevalent ”hush hush, don’t say you like Sonic” aspect of the fandom.
When I question people about why they feel embarrassed, I always get the same answer, “the fans are crazy.” Are they? I suspect the majority of Sonic fans are probably not the vocal ones. The first Sonic game was released in 1991. The fans who were 10 back then are over 30 now. I can’t provide numbers, but logic would dictate that these fans are not the ones perpetuating the nit-picky arguments, the personal attacks and the obsessive need to prove you are the “biggest” fan.
So, if we rule out the majority of the early fans, then who are these so called “crazies” that Sonic fans are ashamed of? Is it the younger fans?
No, it’s not. While age has a lot to do with one’s maturity level, it does not automatically dictate how one will behave. Most of these “crazy” fans might be younger but they are not argumentative, closed minded and immature because they are younger. Younger fans, simply by virtue of not being born early enough to play the first few games, get a lot of heat. They are often accused of not being “real fans.” That is a terrible thing to say to someone and it’s an incorrect mindset. How long someone has liked something does not indicate how strongly they enjoy it. Yes, they may have missed out on the “feel” of the early years but the older fans can’t appreciate the “feel” of the newer years. Both are valid.
But I digress… if it’s not the early fans and it’s not automatically the younger fans then who are these people that, quite literally, make others feel ashamed?
The answer is simple. Sonic is a huge (and I mean huge) fandom which encompasses millions of people. Within those millions there are going to be some individuals who are disrespectful, closed minded, argumentative and mean spirited. My point is this: these people are going to be disrespectful, closed minded, etc. whether they are Sonic fans or not. Why should I (or you) let these people flavor the fandom as a whole? Why should they ruin everything that is good? Why should I personalize, internalize and feel shame because someone I never met is a badly behaved? Would you feel shame if someone cut in front of you at the ticket counter? Would you feel ashamed if some ass-wipe stole your parking space? Would you feel ashamed if some idiot was berating an innocent waitress? I doubt it. So why let those same people take away something you love? Why is it when someone is a fan the behavior of any other fan automatically reflects on everyone. Anyone who would honestly pass judgment on a stranger because some people who share that fan base act like idiots, needs to re-examine their ideals.
I do not speak of this lightly. I know how it feels. I was a fan of anime/manga back when you had to be 18 to buy Urusei Yatsura on VHS. Back when the first Vampire Hunter D film was considered “cutting edge.” Back before there was Tokyopop, Funimation or even Viz. I know what it feels like to be lumped into a stereotype, to be attacked on a personal level because of someone else’s misconception. People assumed, and some still do, that I am an unwashed, obsessive, overweight, male otaku who masturbates to big breasted “cartoon” school girls. Those people are very surprised when I tell them I am an out-going, 30 something, female graphic designer who loves to cook.
To all those fans who back away from something because it embarrasses them or because they are afraid of what others think, I implore you, stand up. Stand up and be proud. If every respectful, understanding, mature person admit to being a fan then people would say, “gosh, Sonic fans are great.” But when you back away then all people see are the crazies. The loud ones. The ones who don’t care. Do you want their behavior to dictate the image of a Sonic fan?
After all, I am a Sonic fan.
Are you?
I had never heard this before. After all, I am a Sonic fan and I have never been ashamed of it. This made me curious and I started to look around.
As I went through the internet, fiction sites, Tumblr posts, chat rooms, forums and D.A. accounts, I saw a small slice of what this artist was talking about. I read all kinds of heated arguments such as, Sonic should be with Amy/Sally, the older/newer games are the best or even what makes you a “real” fan.
I am not going to get into an argument about the “best” way to prove a true fan or who Sonic should be dating. I want to address this increasingly prevalent ”hush hush, don’t say you like Sonic” aspect of the fandom.
When I question people about why they feel embarrassed, I always get the same answer, “the fans are crazy.” Are they? I suspect the majority of Sonic fans are probably not the vocal ones. The first Sonic game was released in 1991. The fans who were 10 back then are over 30 now. I can’t provide numbers, but logic would dictate that these fans are not the ones perpetuating the nit-picky arguments, the personal attacks and the obsessive need to prove you are the “biggest” fan.
So, if we rule out the majority of the early fans, then who are these so called “crazies” that Sonic fans are ashamed of? Is it the younger fans?
No, it’s not. While age has a lot to do with one’s maturity level, it does not automatically dictate how one will behave. Most of these “crazy” fans might be younger but they are not argumentative, closed minded and immature because they are younger. Younger fans, simply by virtue of not being born early enough to play the first few games, get a lot of heat. They are often accused of not being “real fans.” That is a terrible thing to say to someone and it’s an incorrect mindset. How long someone has liked something does not indicate how strongly they enjoy it. Yes, they may have missed out on the “feel” of the early years but the older fans can’t appreciate the “feel” of the newer years. Both are valid.
But I digress… if it’s not the early fans and it’s not automatically the younger fans then who are these people that, quite literally, make others feel ashamed?
The answer is simple. Sonic is a huge (and I mean huge) fandom which encompasses millions of people. Within those millions there are going to be some individuals who are disrespectful, closed minded, argumentative and mean spirited. My point is this: these people are going to be disrespectful, closed minded, etc. whether they are Sonic fans or not. Why should I (or you) let these people flavor the fandom as a whole? Why should they ruin everything that is good? Why should I personalize, internalize and feel shame because someone I never met is a badly behaved? Would you feel shame if someone cut in front of you at the ticket counter? Would you feel ashamed if some ass-wipe stole your parking space? Would you feel ashamed if some idiot was berating an innocent waitress? I doubt it. So why let those same people take away something you love? Why is it when someone is a fan the behavior of any other fan automatically reflects on everyone. Anyone who would honestly pass judgment on a stranger because some people who share that fan base act like idiots, needs to re-examine their ideals.
I do not speak of this lightly. I know how it feels. I was a fan of anime/manga back when you had to be 18 to buy Urusei Yatsura on VHS. Back when the first Vampire Hunter D film was considered “cutting edge.” Back before there was Tokyopop, Funimation or even Viz. I know what it feels like to be lumped into a stereotype, to be attacked on a personal level because of someone else’s misconception. People assumed, and some still do, that I am an unwashed, obsessive, overweight, male otaku who masturbates to big breasted “cartoon” school girls. Those people are very surprised when I tell them I am an out-going, 30 something, female graphic designer who loves to cook.
To all those fans who back away from something because it embarrasses them or because they are afraid of what others think, I implore you, stand up. Stand up and be proud. If every respectful, understanding, mature person admit to being a fan then people would say, “gosh, Sonic fans are great.” But when you back away then all people see are the crazies. The loud ones. The ones who don’t care. Do you want their behavior to dictate the image of a Sonic fan?
After all, I am a Sonic fan.
Are you?
Friday, December 9, 2011
Heroes Fantasia
Heroes Fantasia has both Lina and Orphen! I would pick it up but I won't understand the plot. Also, I have no idea if it with work on a non-Japanese system. I think someone said that the PSP will play Japanese and American games but I haven't been able to verify that. And, I haven't checked, but I'm certain the game is probably not going to be cheap. But still... Gourry, Amelia, Zelgadis, Majik, Cleo... LINA and ORPHEN!!! Noooooo...want it, want it.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Anime Voice Actor's Wife Dies
Voice actor Dan Green's wife died on Nov. 25th after giving birth to their children. Please visit his website if you want to make a donation or leave him a message. As anime fans know, Dan Green is the voice behind many beloved anime characters from Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon and Sonic the Hedgehog. You can see an interview with him here.
If you can help, or want to leave him a message, please do so. I don't know if it will reach him, but he should know that his fans have him in their thoughts and prayers.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Are You Freaking Kidding Me? (Misogynistic 50s ads)
Enlarge and read these. Seriously. There are no words.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
According to ANN Lupin the 3rd is a getting a new television special, Chi no Kokuin Eien no Mermaid.
Neon Gensis Evangelion DVDs are going out of print in the US so if you want to buy them you have to act fast. You can purchase the Platinum Boxset at Right Stuff Anime for $29.00.
The Rurouni Kenshin Live Action film will open in Japan on August 25th. Wow, I really want to see this! You can read more about it over at ANN, as always.
ANN tells me that the Rock Lee manga spin-off, Rock Lee no Seishun Full ower Ninden will be getting its own anime! Wow! Go Rock Lee!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Where is the sun god people?Apollo was one of the most beloved and worshiped of the Greek gods. Why is he missing from the modern pantheon?
There has been a slew of films / books etc that feature Greek mythology but Apollo has never had much (if any) of a role in them. Why people? He was the most popular god.
He's god of the sun. The sun! Come on people, does it get more important than that?
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Picasa
I have been using Picasa to sort out my 76 gigs of images.Picasa has this great feature that recognizes a face (after a few tries) and labels it automatically. Sounds great right? But there are a few issues that I think the good folks at Picasa HQ didn't quite think through.
1) Movie screen caps - Picasa is going loopy on me because it can't decide if the pirate is "captain sparrow" or Johnny Depp. Same for every actor. Zachary Quinto, is he Syler or Spock?
2) Non-photographs - I have anime pics. A lot of anime pics. Problem is not every image of a character looks the same in every episode or fan-art. And that's nothing compared to comics. Picasa crashed twice trying to identify Gambit.
3) Twins. Laura, Carrie you make Picasa crash every time. The does not recognize any difference and sticks all twins in the same folder. I have to manually sort through every image and if I'm going to do that I could just manually put the image into folder myself.*sigh*
4) Multiple Identities - A good example would be "the Doctor." He has several faces but he's still "the doctor." I had to start labeling them as "doctor #." Of course, even then Picasa start flipping out and saying, "but you told me this was David Tennant!!"
Arg. This is taking forever. I am going to take a break now before I kill Picasa.
Monday, November 7, 2011
So apparently Merlin is shot in a region called Pierrefonds in northern France in a castle appropriately called Château de Pierrefonds.
Just goggle it! It's Camelot!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Dramatic Americans
So you know, I like to download and watch documentaries while I work. I was feeling upset this morning (my kitty Lucky might be dying) so to stave off sadness till my sister came home I watched two.The first was a BBC documentary about the discovery of a long lost Leonardo da Vinci painting, Salvator Mundi, (pictured to the left) and the second was about Nemesis, a hypothetical star that causes comets to fling into the inner solar system every 26 million years.
The discovery of a long lost painting done by the epic renaissance master is, forgive me for this Laura, slightly more mind blowing than a star which may or may not exist and may or may not cause comets to hit the Earth in ten million years. Not that Nemsis isn't exciting. Anyone who knows me knows I love love physics and astronomy. However, the theory is not as immediately relevant in my life. (Except for the fact that I might use the idea in RT.) And it's still unproven.
At any rate, the first vide was made by the BBC so the announcer says, in a calm and composed British accent, "what an amazing discovery. How lucky we are to see it [the painting.]"
Meanwhile, the second video, made by the History channel, opens with a deep voiced American accent booming, "does our star have an evil twin out in the solar system bent on destroying us?!"
Wow.
Normally I would not have noted a difference but because I had played the videos back to back I found myself really annoyed with the stupidly over hyped and garish History Channel presentation. It was filled with ominous BGMs, overblown assumptions and over simplified explanations. Such a great topic too. I just found myself longing that the BBC had done the presentation instead of the History Channel.
I think Eddie Izzard is right. Americans just cannot present information (to the masses) without tossing it in a coating of pompous hype. It lessens the drama and importance (for me) when the information is presented like a trailer for the newest Armageddon du jour film. Why are we so dramatic I wonder?
Friday, October 21, 2011
Captain Kirk in the Twilight Zone
I was watching the Twilight Zone episode, "Nick of Time" when I saw that the main lead was William Shatner. Instead of saying, "oh my gosh it's William Shatner," I said, "oh my gosh, it's Captain Kirk!"I can understand why Shatner is staying away from the Star Trek front.
Even though I know (logically) that it's Shatner on screen, I don't know him personally therefore I identify his face and voice with Kirk. Emotionally, it's as if Kirk was an actor before he joined Star Fleet while the entity known as WIlliam Shatner is his flesh and bones, Earth bound avatar.
I have a friend who gets very annoyed when I say things like, "Kaiba (from Yu-Gi-Oh!) must have been pissed off when he lost the battle." He responds with, "Kaiba isn't real. He cannot feel anything." Factually, he's right. Kaiba isn't real the same way William Shatner is, but since I will never meet William Shatner then he, emotionally, exists in the same space as Kaiba.
I feel this way about most celebrities and famous folk. Yes, they exist but they are "out there," the same way that the Loch Ness Monster is "out there." I don't emotionally distinguish the "real but never verified" from the "not real" so it's easy for me to assign emotions and feelings for non-living entities (or even objects.) I can't imagine not doing it in fact. I looked over one day and saw my favorite blanket on the floor gathering dust and I felt "sad" for it. It's not real. It can't feel abandoned or neglected but the emotional response is still there.
So, what's real in the end? If characters and objects can illicit an emotional response, such as the happiness when I saw "Kirk," then why can't the concept of "Kirk" be any more real than William Shatner?
It's something to think about... in the Twilight Zone.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Doctor 11 is not as Doctor Who
Okay, well I have seen every episode released so far of Doctor 11 and I can still say (cus I've been saying it for a while now) that I just don't like him as much as 10.
I have lots of reason but it basically boils down to this, he doesn't inspire anything in me. I don't want to travel with him. He seems very ho-hum about the wonders of the universe. I do not expect him to be bouncy or manic but he should still be interested in the world around him. Instead he seems to be dragged around from adventure to adventure by other sources. He never really wants to do anything himself. At least, not as much as 10 did.
Also, I have terr
ible trouble trying to attach to Amy. She's too fearless, too headstrong, and too independent.When she was almost vivisected the episode with the dinosaur people, she was barely one foot out of the door of her escape when she decided she wanted to explore the ship. C'mon. I mean she doesn't have to be crying or screaming but that response was far too tame. She was almost cut apart alive. I get this feeling a lot in Moffat's writing. He gets so wrapped in the story that there isn't time for the emotions and reactions. RTD was too emotional but Moffat is not emotional enough. Between the two I prefer the overly emotional.
I know that Amy is not very an emotional character, neither is Rory or 11, but the emotional range of the characters is so toned down that when they do emote, I don't believe them. It just doesn't feel like Doctor Who. They should be overacting like hell. Moffat is trying to make the story darker, sexier and more serious but Doctor Who is supposed to be campy. When a story is presented to me as a mystery and a serious topic I want to take it seriously but Doctor Who is not meant for that. Human-dinosaurs is never going to be serious. Also, when a story is presented to me in a serious manner it's a huge disappointment when it's easy to figure out what's going on. I saw what the Pandorica was for a mile away. It was easy to guess. If Moffat hadn't been SO super serious about what was inside the Pandorica then it wouldn't have been such a h
uge disappointment. In the previous season even the dumbest episode, for example The Unicorn and the Wasp, was fun because it was never treated as a serious thing. It's a giant alien wasp and it's not a mystery. We see it. A giant alien wasp. Moffat's trying to make things serious, less campy, and it just brings everything down.
Finally, the acting
. It's not as good. Period. I know Tennant is a hard act to follow but I just don't believe Smith as the Doctor. He doesn't seem old, he doesn't seem wise. He feels like a smart college kid who knows tons of stuff but doesn't really know anything. When the doctor was crying in the episode, The Doctor's Wife, I didn't believe him. And it’s not all Smith’s fault. Moffat was so interested in making it clever, "oh my thief, my thief" (which was embarrassingly easy to figure out) that he never took time to write in an emotional moment before the climax. A perfect time to do that would have b
een when the Doctor and the Lady are working on trying to build another Tardis. The Doctor should have spared her a glance, he should have watched her work. I need to see that he is thinking out this, about her. Tennant was a master of this. He wove in the subtle looks, the sidelong glances, the smiles and frowns that made him feel real to me. RTD’s writing was overly emotional but it felt real. Like real people. Moffat’s writing feels exactly like that, writing.
As a body of work, I prefer RTD’s overly dramatic, camp-fest to Moffat’s dark, trying to be serious stories. It’s not as Doctor Who for me.
I have lots of reason but it basically boils down to this, he doesn't inspire anything in me. I don't want to travel with him. He seems very ho-hum about the wonders of the universe. I do not expect him to be bouncy or manic but he should still be interested in the world around him. Instead he seems to be dragged around from adventure to adventure by other sources. He never really wants to do anything himself. At least, not as much as 10 did.
Also, I have terr
ible trouble trying to attach to Amy. She's too fearless, too headstrong, and too independent.I know that Amy is not very an emotional character, neither is Rory or 11, but the emotional range of the characters is so toned down that when they do emote, I don't believe them. It just doesn't feel like Doctor Who. They should be overacting like hell. Moffat is trying to make the story darker, sexier and more serious but Doctor Who is supposed to be campy. When a story is presented to me as a mystery and a serious topic I want to take it seriously but Doctor Who is not meant for that. Human-dinosaurs is never going to be serious. Also, when a story is presented to me in a serious manner it's a huge disappointment when it's easy to figure out what's going on. I saw what the Pandorica was for a mile away. It was easy to guess. If Moffat hadn't been SO super serious about what was inside the Pandorica then it wouldn't have been such a h
uge disappointment. In the previous season even the dumbest episode, for example The Unicorn and the Wasp, was fun because it was never treated as a serious thing. It's a giant alien wasp and it's not a mystery. We see it. A giant alien wasp. Moffat's trying to make things serious, less campy, and it just brings everything down.Finally, the acting
. It's not as good. Period. I know Tennant is a hard act to follow but I just don't believe Smith as the Doctor. He doesn't seem old, he doesn't seem wise. He feels like a smart college kid who knows tons of stuff but doesn't really know anything. When the doctor was crying in the episode, The Doctor's Wife, I didn't believe him. And it’s not all Smith’s fault. Moffat was so interested in making it clever, "oh my thief, my thief" (which was embarrassingly easy to figure out) that he never took time to write in an emotional moment before the climax. A perfect time to do that would have b
een when the Doctor and the Lady are working on trying to build another Tardis. The Doctor should have spared her a glance, he should have watched her work. I need to see that he is thinking out this, about her. Tennant was a master of this. He wove in the subtle looks, the sidelong glances, the smiles and frowns that made him feel real to me. RTD’s writing was overly emotional but it felt real. Like real people. Moffat’s writing feels exactly like that, writing.As a body of work, I prefer RTD’s overly dramatic, camp-fest to Moffat’s dark, trying to be serious stories. It’s not as Doctor Who for me.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Anyone else look at Deviant Art images?
Well, it occurred to me the other day that something a lot of artists do really annoys me.
They draw these evocative images with enigmatic titles, (for example, a weeping man standing over the body of a dead woman with the title, "I loved her so much," or some such.) When you go to read the description all you get it, "this picture took me 4 hours to make, I worked with PS3 with such and such filters, rendered with so and so program."
Drives me bonkers! Not everyone on DA is an artist. Not everyone understands or even cares about the technical details of an image. I want to know what the artist was thinking, what inspired them, basically what this image is all about.
I realize that not understanding the technical aspects is my fault but surely artists must be aware that non-artists visit DA. Don't they think there would be some benefit to attaching a haunting story to a beautiful image?
Anyway, just an observation.
They draw these evocative images with enigmatic titles, (for example, a weeping man standing over the body of a dead woman with the title, "I loved her so much," or some such.) When you go to read the description all you get it, "this picture took me 4 hours to make, I worked with PS3 with such and such filters, rendered with so and so program."
Drives me bonkers! Not everyone on DA is an artist. Not everyone understands or even cares about the technical details of an image. I want to know what the artist was thinking, what inspired them, basically what this image is all about.
I realize that not understanding the technical aspects is my fault but surely artists must be aware that non-artists visit DA. Don't they think there would be some benefit to attaching a haunting story to a beautiful image?
Anyway, just an observation.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Video Games Update
Sonic Generations Official Gameplay Trailer
Devil May Cry 5 Official E3 Gameplay Trailer
Well, at least his hair turns white!
Assassin's Creed Revlations
Ezio is so bad ass!
Assassin's Creed Desmond Journey Teaser Trailer
Sly Cooper 4
Devil May Cry 5 Official E3 Gameplay Trailer
Well, at least his hair turns white!
Assassin's Creed Revlations
Ezio is so bad ass!
Assassin's Creed Desmond Journey Teaser Trailer
Sly Cooper 4
Friday, June 3, 2011
Okay, I did a super short rewrite of the film the way I would have liked to have seen it unfold. I tried to keep as much of the original plot as possible since I am not sure if it will be significant later. The story is in .pdf format. You can read it here. Enjoy!PS - Please ignore my grammar and spelling errors. I read and re-read things but I never seem to catch the mistakes!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
On Stranger Tides
On Stranger TidesLet me start off my saying I am a huge Pirates of the Caribbean fan (or Jack Sparrow fan rather) but even massive love of Jack couldn't save this film.
Putting most of the huge mistakes aside (the massive plot holes, the utter lack of character development and the bizzare pacing) my biggest disappointment in this film is Jack's lack of involvement in the overall plot.
Despite claiming to be "hellishly bent" on finding the fountain actually never acted as if he cared about it or the adventure he was on. He was dragged around by everyone else. He never had any reason to be on this adventure. Without Jack working toward some goal, usually contrary to what the rest of the cast desires, it just isn't pirates of the Caribbean for me.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Cee Lo Green's "Forget" You
Argg! Cee Lo Green! Why do you do this to me?The "you" in his song goes from being the girlfriend stealing friend to the girlfriend herself.
"I see you [the girlfriend stealing guy] driving around town with the girl I love and I’m like,
Forget you [the girlfriend stealing guy] and forget her too! If said if I was richer, Id still be with ya [the girlfriend]."
I thought he was in love with the friend for a while! (Although that could be my yaoi nature kicking in.)
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Tangled is a Twisted Mess!
I was really disappointed in Tangled. I expected more from Disney. While the graphics were stunning I felt Tangled really lacked in two key areas, character development and story development. I know a lot of people really loved this film so let me explain my reasoning before anyone gets miffed.
Tangled feels like a modern story desperately trying to squeeze itself into fairy tale format. An example of fairy tale format would be Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. Maleficent spends 16 years trying to hunt down and kill princess Aurora for no other reason than her parents snubbed her at a party. We don’t care why Maleficent does what she does. It doesn’t matter. She’s the evil witch, end of story. As for love, Prince Phillip and Aurora take one look at each other and go head over heels. They know nothing about each other. Not even each other’s name. But why they fall in love is not important. It doesn’t matter. It was meant to be. Fairy Tales do not explain motivations, give reason for events or require any character development to make them flow. They simply ask you to believe.
A more modern story set-up, such as Pixar’s How to Train Your Dragon, requires the information and the character development to make it work. It would seem strange otherwise.
The point is unless you plan on creating a complete fairy tale where nothing is questioned you need character development and story development. Tangled starts out like a pure fairy tale but then immediately becomes a modern tale. Unfortunately some aspects remain in the fairy tale format and as a result the story really lacks as complete work.
Character Development
Rapunzel’s Love for her Mother: One of the most critical relationships in this story is between Rapunzel and the woman she believes is her mother. (In actuality she is a witch who doesn’t care about Rapunzel at all and is simply keeping her around for her magical hair.) The witch uses love as weapon to trap and keep Rapunzel with her. The love (or lack thereof) that they have for each other is a massively important plot point but it does not get the treatment it deserves.
In the beginning Disney seems to acknowledge the strength of the child-parent relationship. Rapunzel has a montage where she’s stuck between being thrilled that she's outside for the first time and freaking out because she's hurting her mother's feelings. She says many times in the show that she loves her mother. But Rapunzel doesn’t react strongly enough when she finds out that the woman she thought was her mother for 18 years is actually a witch who doesn’t care about her. This witch might not be her biological mother but she raised Rapunzel, right? So the bond is there. Rapunzel should have been devastated. Even children who are abused and neglected still try to seek their parent’s affection. Instead she suddenly turns into a tower of internal strength and confidence and seems more or less fine when her mother is killed. If this were a fairy tale, this reaction would be fine. She’s evil and now she’s gone. But it isn’t. Rapunzel loves her mother. She says so through-out the story. That love will not just vanish. It may turn into hate or bitterness but it should manifest in some form. There should have been a screaming match or at least some kind of crying and hysterics.
The Motivation of the Witch: Raising a child is very hard work. Pretending to feel someway about someone when you don’t is just as difficult. And yet, the antagonist does both without question. Again, if this were a fairy tale “because” would be the reason, but it’s not. This witch needs character development very badly. Why did she undertake this tremendous task? Why does she wants to keep on living? What is she living for? Is she involved in some massive plot that takes years to unfold? Is she just afraid to die? We need to know something, anything about why she would do what she did.
Flynn: I know a lot of people adore Flynn. As a character he has a lot of potential given his fun and lively personality but unfortunately he comes off very flat. Flynn tries to be a mix between a thief and thrill seeking adventure but he fails at both.
No one really grows up wanting to become a thief. Most characters either must to steal to survive, like Aladdin, become a thief in order to further some political agenda (i.g. Robin Hood) or live in an environment that promotes and encourages that kind of behavior, like Gambit. Flynn has none of these motivations. Nor does he have any of the quintessential personality traits we often see in thieving sorts. He should have been played as a charismatic guy who acts like he cares but is really only out for number one. (This would be enforced by the scene when he ditches his partners in crime after stealing the crown.)
In a thief scenario he should meet Rapunzel, and actively decide himself to use her to further his agenda. Then they fall in love but he is stuck in his ways. He betrays her and leaves her out to dry thinking her influence will leave him but it doesn’t. He returns to save her because he realizes he finally cares about someone more than himself and is “killed.” As it stands now it feels like he's only a thief for the convenience of the plot. This makes him come off as this half-baked, wimpy little funny friend who has no leg to stand on because his only personality trait is not really his.
Let’s say Flynn is played more as a thrill seeker adventurer than a thief. So he’s meandering through his pointless life, desperately trying to find some way to validate his lonely existence. (This would be enforced by his back story about being an orphan.) But a person who would be comfortable jumping into dangerous scenarios and living as a wanted criminal “just for funsies” is not going to be someone who would marry a princess without a second thought. He would value his freedom and his lack of emotional baggage.
In a thrill seeker scenario he can fall in love with Rapunzel but when he finds out she’s a princess (thus being with her would make a consort or even a potential king) he should have an emotional scene and leave her. Then he finds out she’s in trouble, goes back to save her, has a revelation and decides he needs her more than his freedom.
Flynn doesn’t fit any of these molds. He’s just an easy going kind of guy who likes to have fun.
Story Development
Toward the end of the film Rapunzel sees the decorations she has painted all over her room match the décor of the royal place and she realizes she’s the lost princess. I’m sorry but that is weak, weak, weak. How could she remember something from when she was in the crib? This is a pivotal moment for her. She realizes her "mother" is a phony who has stolen her from her parents and her throne and has rerouted the course of her life! There needed to be something much more solid going on here in order for Rapunzel to suddenly become strong enough to confront and emotionally overcome her mother to such a huge degree that her death is accepted as necessary.
If I were writing this I would have Rapunzel have a handicap whereby she’s unable to tell if people are lying because she has no experience with any other humans. As she travels with Flynn (who being a thief would have loads of excuses to lie to her) she slowly starts to learn when she’s being played. When she returns home she questions the mother, “do you love me,” watches her expression and realizes she’s lying. At the end she can ask Flynn the same question and finds he’s not lying.
Unfortunately love is the other story development that just didn’t happen for me in Tangled. I know they didn't have time but they should have changed the set-up in order to bring Rapunzel and Flynn closer together. I can kindasee her falling for him right away. He is the first man she has ever seen. He’s attractive and charming and she bonds to him as they travel.
For Flynn however, there needed to be more content, more scenes of bonding, more introspection on his part. Right now I get the feeling that only he’s interested in her because she is different than anyone else. As it stands now I don't see their bond being strong enough for him to warrant essentially placing himself in a glided prison as her royal mate. They could have made this stronger. She should be the thing that he has spent his life searching for, a purpose and validation which he never had as an orphan. This is a momentous revelation for him. His entire way of life will be altered if he decides to pursue her. We never see that moment for her. The moment when he decides she is it. We get a hint of this feeling in their duet when he says, “this is where I’m meant to be,” but his actions afterwards don’t really reflect any change in him. The story just kinda leads him to her when he should be headed to her himself of his own volition.
The entire story feels very contrived. The characters exist to further the plot instead of the plot revealing the character’s stories to us. While I understand that story is essentially for kids and there are going to be silly issues that go unaddressed, (like why the people of this kingdom don’t have a problem with a virtual unknown claiming to be the next in line to the throne who, on top of having no proof of her lineage, is also possibly going to make a known criminal their new king) but Disney has produced some masterful children’s stories in the past. Compared to another film from this genre, How to Train Your Dragon, this was just sloppy. I know Disney can do better.
Tangled feels like a modern story desperately trying to squeeze itself into fairy tale format. An example of fairy tale format would be Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. Maleficent spends 16 years trying to hunt down and kill princess Aurora for no other reason than her parents snubbed her at a party. We don’t care why Maleficent does what she does. It doesn’t matter. She’s the evil witch, end of story. As for love, Prince Phillip and Aurora take one look at each other and go head over heels. They know nothing about each other. Not even each other’s name. But why they fall in love is not important. It doesn’t matter. It was meant to be. Fairy Tales do not explain motivations, give reason for events or require any character development to make them flow. They simply ask you to believe.
A more modern story set-up, such as Pixar’s How to Train Your Dragon, requires the information and the character development to make it work. It would seem strange otherwise.
The point is unless you plan on creating a complete fairy tale where nothing is questioned you need character development and story development. Tangled starts out like a pure fairy tale but then immediately becomes a modern tale. Unfortunately some aspects remain in the fairy tale format and as a result the story really lacks as complete work.
Character Development
Rapunzel’s Love for her Mother: One of the most critical relationships in this story is between Rapunzel and the woman she believes is her mother. (In actuality she is a witch who doesn’t care about Rapunzel at all and is simply keeping her around for her magical hair.) The witch uses love as weapon to trap and keep Rapunzel with her. The love (or lack thereof) that they have for each other is a massively important plot point but it does not get the treatment it deserves.
In the beginning Disney seems to acknowledge the strength of the child-parent relationship. Rapunzel has a montage where she’s stuck between being thrilled that she's outside for the first time and freaking out because she's hurting her mother's feelings. She says many times in the show that she loves her mother. But Rapunzel doesn’t react strongly enough when she finds out that the woman she thought was her mother for 18 years is actually a witch who doesn’t care about her. This witch might not be her biological mother but she raised Rapunzel, right? So the bond is there. Rapunzel should have been devastated. Even children who are abused and neglected still try to seek their parent’s affection. Instead she suddenly turns into a tower of internal strength and confidence and seems more or less fine when her mother is killed. If this were a fairy tale, this reaction would be fine. She’s evil and now she’s gone. But it isn’t. Rapunzel loves her mother. She says so through-out the story. That love will not just vanish. It may turn into hate or bitterness but it should manifest in some form. There should have been a screaming match or at least some kind of crying and hysterics.
The Motivation of the Witch: Raising a child is very hard work. Pretending to feel someway about someone when you don’t is just as difficult. And yet, the antagonist does both without question. Again, if this were a fairy tale “because” would be the reason, but it’s not. This witch needs character development very badly. Why did she undertake this tremendous task? Why does she wants to keep on living? What is she living for? Is she involved in some massive plot that takes years to unfold? Is she just afraid to die? We need to know something, anything about why she would do what she did.
Flynn: I know a lot of people adore Flynn. As a character he has a lot of potential given his fun and lively personality but unfortunately he comes off very flat. Flynn tries to be a mix between a thief and thrill seeking adventure but he fails at both.
No one really grows up wanting to become a thief. Most characters either must to steal to survive, like Aladdin, become a thief in order to further some political agenda (i.g. Robin Hood) or live in an environment that promotes and encourages that kind of behavior, like Gambit. Flynn has none of these motivations. Nor does he have any of the quintessential personality traits we often see in thieving sorts. He should have been played as a charismatic guy who acts like he cares but is really only out for number one. (This would be enforced by the scene when he ditches his partners in crime after stealing the crown.)
In a thief scenario he should meet Rapunzel, and actively decide himself to use her to further his agenda. Then they fall in love but he is stuck in his ways. He betrays her and leaves her out to dry thinking her influence will leave him but it doesn’t. He returns to save her because he realizes he finally cares about someone more than himself and is “killed.” As it stands now it feels like he's only a thief for the convenience of the plot. This makes him come off as this half-baked, wimpy little funny friend who has no leg to stand on because his only personality trait is not really his.
Let’s say Flynn is played more as a thrill seeker adventurer than a thief. So he’s meandering through his pointless life, desperately trying to find some way to validate his lonely existence. (This would be enforced by his back story about being an orphan.) But a person who would be comfortable jumping into dangerous scenarios and living as a wanted criminal “just for funsies” is not going to be someone who would marry a princess without a second thought. He would value his freedom and his lack of emotional baggage.
In a thrill seeker scenario he can fall in love with Rapunzel but when he finds out she’s a princess (thus being with her would make a consort or even a potential king) he should have an emotional scene and leave her. Then he finds out she’s in trouble, goes back to save her, has a revelation and decides he needs her more than his freedom.
Flynn doesn’t fit any of these molds. He’s just an easy going kind of guy who likes to have fun.
Story Development
Toward the end of the film Rapunzel sees the decorations she has painted all over her room match the décor of the royal place and she realizes she’s the lost princess. I’m sorry but that is weak, weak, weak. How could she remember something from when she was in the crib? This is a pivotal moment for her. She realizes her "mother" is a phony who has stolen her from her parents and her throne and has rerouted the course of her life! There needed to be something much more solid going on here in order for Rapunzel to suddenly become strong enough to confront and emotionally overcome her mother to such a huge degree that her death is accepted as necessary.
If I were writing this I would have Rapunzel have a handicap whereby she’s unable to tell if people are lying because she has no experience with any other humans. As she travels with Flynn (who being a thief would have loads of excuses to lie to her) she slowly starts to learn when she’s being played. When she returns home she questions the mother, “do you love me,” watches her expression and realizes she’s lying. At the end she can ask Flynn the same question and finds he’s not lying.
Unfortunately love is the other story development that just didn’t happen for me in Tangled. I know they didn't have time but they should have changed the set-up in order to bring Rapunzel and Flynn closer together. I can kindasee her falling for him right away. He is the first man she has ever seen. He’s attractive and charming and she bonds to him as they travel.
For Flynn however, there needed to be more content, more scenes of bonding, more introspection on his part. Right now I get the feeling that only he’s interested in her because she is different than anyone else. As it stands now I don't see their bond being strong enough for him to warrant essentially placing himself in a glided prison as her royal mate. They could have made this stronger. She should be the thing that he has spent his life searching for, a purpose and validation which he never had as an orphan. This is a momentous revelation for him. His entire way of life will be altered if he decides to pursue her. We never see that moment for her. The moment when he decides she is it. We get a hint of this feeling in their duet when he says, “this is where I’m meant to be,” but his actions afterwards don’t really reflect any change in him. The story just kinda leads him to her when he should be headed to her himself of his own volition.
The entire story feels very contrived. The characters exist to further the plot instead of the plot revealing the character’s stories to us. While I understand that story is essentially for kids and there are going to be silly issues that go unaddressed, (like why the people of this kingdom don’t have a problem with a virtual unknown claiming to be the next in line to the throne who, on top of having no proof of her lineage, is also possibly going to make a known criminal their new king) but Disney has produced some masterful children’s stories in the past. Compared to another film from this genre, How to Train Your Dragon, this was just sloppy. I know Disney can do better.
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