Twilight Bashing

I think I have just run across too many of those, “why this books sucks essays” because I am getting fed up with the Twilight bashing.

Let me preface this by saying, I am not a Twihard. However, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the series does have a certain charm – and I love vampires. If the novels were completely bad then it would be impossible to hone in on any one aspect that needed improvement. Since the essence of the novel is solid, the areas that need work stand out.

I have already written about the problems I have with the Twilight series. You can read about it here.

From what I have observed, Twi-haters fall into two categories, those who read the novels and those who didn’t. Let me just briefly address the latter.

There are always people who dislike something simply because it’s popular. Twilight is no exception. I was at a party recently and Twilight came up in the conversation. The young man I was chatting with jokingly told me he had made it his life’s mission to have nothing to do with Twilight. He was exaggerating for dramatic effect of course, but not by much. This is an attitude I see with a lot of people.

“Did you read the books,” I ask the random Twi-hater. “Did you see the movies?”

The answer is always “no,” and they usually follow up with, “It looks stupid.”

Well, that’s just plain silly. Hugh Laurie looks stupid, that doesn’t make him so. (I say that with great respect. I adore Hugh Laurie. I think he’s brilliant and talented – but, c’mon, he looks like a bug eyed twit.) I dismiss anyone who claims to not like something because “everyone likes it.” I fall into that trap myself. If something is too popular I tend to ignore it. But I have never claimed to dislike something I have never experienced.

Of those who have read the novels, one of the top arguments is, “Twilight is not as good as Harry Potter.” Just for the record, I agree. But, why should it be? Why are we inviting a comparison anyway? I don’t recall Stephanie Meyer and J.K. Rowling entering a best written teen fiction novel contest. Yes, Meyer’s isn’t as sophisticated a writer as Rowling but Rowling isn’t as good as David Sedaris. Just because the books belong to the same genre comparing them against each other doesn’t make sense, nor does it prove anything. They were never in competition. Neither Meyer nor Rowling set out to become the next “it” writer. They simply had a story to tell and they told it the best way they could.

Another illogical Twi-hater argument is, “Twilight is bad because Bella is a Mary-Sue.” My response to that is, so what? Creating a cookie cutter character is perfect in some instances - for example, Tintin. Tintin is one of the most beloved comic characters of all time and he is a complete self-insert of the author. He doesn’t have a favorite food, an eye color or even a last name. That format works for Tintin and it works for Twilight too. Bella is mean to be the “every girl” character in a romance novel. And Meyer does describe Bella, just not with any great detail. (By the way, for you comparison lovers Rowling didn’t tell us Malfoy was blonde until book three.) The details of Bella’s hair, face, eyes, etc. is not important to the story. In fact, the less said about Bella’s physical appearance, the better. The point of romance novels is escapism. If Bella was described down to the last atom then the audience would have a more difficult time imagining themselves in her shoes. Edward, the object of her affection, is described in great detail. We know that Meyer understands how to paint a picture. With Bella she consciously chooses not to do so.

Another unfounded Twi-hater argument is the “sparkly vampire” bash. People love to point out how un-vampire like, and thus how not dangerous the vampires in Twilight are. Sparkly vampires just “make it stupid.” Hold the phone here kids. How exactly are the vamps not dangerous – or did I read a different novel? The whole latter half of the book is devoted to escaping a group of crazed vampires. I can’t speak for anyone else but James, Victoria and Laurent seemed awful dangerous to me. In the second novel, Bella cuts her finger and Jasper Cullen, her boyfriend’s brother (of sorts) has to be physically restrained from ripping her apart. If you were in Bella’s place and someone you trusted came after you, to eat you… yeah, that’s scary. There is plenty of dangerous vampire action going on. Anyone remember the Volturi? They didn’t play a big role but they certainly did their fair share of eating and torturing helpless victims. Just because the vampires bounce light like a brilliant cut diamond it doesn’t make them less dangerous. In fact, vampires that can go out in the day and sparkle like jewels seem far more dangerous to me than distorted, fetid, monsters in lurking the darkness. Think about it, who are you less likely to run away screaming from?

The last and most valid argument is that the writing in Twilight isn’t great. Okay, Meyer’s writing has flaws, but unless I missed something, Twilight was her first novel.

“I could write a better story than that,” just about every Twi-hater claims.
Okay, then do it.

Writing is not easy, folks. Like anything else, it comes more naturally to some than others. As a first novel, Meyer really did a bang-up job. She offered us a heartfelt, romantic piece that people across the board can enjoy.
And given the sheer number of people who do enjoy it, she must have done something right.

So give the sparkly vamps a break guys. Let’s talk about why we like Twilight for a change.

God is a Twilight Fan

My sister and I are headed home tomorrow so, as such, we have no food in the house. Being Turkish, we have to have tea with breakfast. So, we decided to go to Wholefood and get some breakfast items that go well with tea. Sis got a bran muffin and I got a baguette.

We came home and poured the tea. As I was slicing the baguette with my favorite black ceramic knife (the one I adore because it’s just so sharp) I noticed that the bread was grainy. In fact, I noticed that it was wheat. Unfortunately the second I noticed that the baguette was wheat my brain forgot to move my finger away from the knife. Apparently slicing a wheat baguette is an automatic action but moving your finger away from a razor sharp ceramic blade isn’t. So, as you can image, I sliced my finger.

As I watched the blood dripping out of my finger and pooling onto the floor I had several thoughts at once.

The first one was, “See, this is why I don’t like wheat bread!”

The second was, “Gee I should clean the knife.”

The third was a little more specific. Yesterday I was on Tumblr and someone had blogged a couple of screen-caps from the Twilight parody. There were two images, one of the parody Bella with her finger cut and gushing blood everywhere, the second of the vampire (Jasper) tucking a napkin into his collar and holding up a fork and knife. When I saw that picture I though, “idiot, no one really ever cuts themselves like that.”

So, as I stood there in shock the pool of blood growing larger, I thought, “God must be a Twilight fan.”

Twilight Music Video

Whelp, I broke down and made a Twilight MV. Download it out on my Website or view it on my Youtube channel.

Twilight is getting dim...

Heroes isn't the only fandom I am having issues with lately.

BTW - If you are crazy in love with Twilight please stop reading now. I know that people have different reactions to things and this is mine.

Lemme preface by saying I do not hate Twilight, but nor do I love it. Meyer has a more accomplished style of writing than some authors but she is nowhere near as clever, innovative and sophisticated a storyteller as J.K. Rowling. Of course, that is my opinion. However, I am not interested in writing a comparison of the books. My issues is with the last Twilight novel, Breaking Dawn.

Again, if you know me, you know that I am resistant to anything too new. I do not trust the judgement of the masses so it takes me rather a long time to catch up with the popular trends. (They have to prove themselves so to speak.) However, at everyone's instance I went ahead and read Twilight after the first film came out.

The books are cute enough as far as teenage vampire romance novels go. Like I said, not brilliant but thoroughly enjoyable. As of the fourth book however I have noticed a trend in Meyer's writing that really irritates me, the dreaded deus ex machina.

Bella is confronted with the tough choices in life that, in a less dramatic way, we all have to make. The author builds and builds and builds these events up and then suddenly, everything is cleared up by circumstances outside of Bella's control. More and more I see Bella not having to make those tough choices.

SPOILERS - You Have Been Warned

To name a few...

• Bella is worried about becoming a vampire and missing out on human experiences, i.e. pregnancy. Well, along come the god machine and Bella is magically pregnant with a baby on fast forward.
• Bella is worried about having to become a vampire because she'll have to leave her human life behind. Well once again deus ex machine to the rescue. She gets so destroyed by the baby that they have to make her a vampire to save her life. Cop out!
• Bella is worried because she'll have to tell her father she's marrying Edward. Her dad passes the responsibility to her mom who magically accepts the one things she has always warned Bella against because it seemed right. WTF...
• Bella is worried about having to spend a year of her life as a mindless newborn vampire but somehow she is magically immune.
• Bella is worried that her chosing Edward over Jacob is going to destroy their friendship (which she seems to hold dear.) However, as soon as she becomes a vampire Jacob suddenly falls out of love with her because he imprints on Bella's daughter. Seriously Meyer, what a let down. We spent two, if not three books, angsting about this romance only to have it magically erased? Very disappointing. Bella has made her choice. She chose Edward. She should have to live with that knowing what it will do to Jacob.

I found the fourth book filled with these escapes. Bella isn't having to make those tough choices and it really leave me unfulfilled as a reader.

Aside from that, I also feel that Bella!Vampire is a very unlikable character. As a vampire, Bella loses everything that made her charming, her clumsiness, her insecurities, her worries. Even her personality changes. She starts referring to Jacob as a "mutt" or "dog" and other derogatory terms. The only facet that remains of her original personality is her love for Edward and frankly, that isn't enough. Her love seems more like an obsessive attachment now than a true longing. It's becoming a cliche of itself.

At any rate, I have half the book. I really hope it wraps up cleanly or I will not be buying anymore books from Stephenie Meyer.