Stinking Bugs

As some of you already know, there is a pest control problem in my apartment in Atlanta. For weeks my sister and I have been battling invisible blood suckers. It’s exhausting – especially for me. For every one bite my sister receives I get about ten. The bugs prefer me. Perhaps it’s because they know I hate them more.

For whatever reason, I have had to take some extreme measures in the past few weeks, taping my ankles before bed (they love my ankles), tucking in my shirt, and even wearing long sleeves on a hot Georgia night. They got me anyway, but by golly I made them work for it!

At any rate, I was extra thrilled this year to come home and celebrate the holidays. Ten days in a bug free house! What bliss! No more bandages, no more itching and no more waking up in the night with that creepy crawling feeling. You know what I mean. The feeling that wakes you up at 1 AM because you know they’re crawling on you right now.

One eight hour drive later, we were home. I went to my room to drop off my suitcase when I heard a quiet yet distinct buzzing sound. I was certain it was my imagination; after all I had just left Bug Central. This was a safe zone - a bug free zone.

Or so I thought.

The very first night a nasty looking bug dive bombed me in bed. I screamed and bolted for my mom’s bedroom (as any self respecting grown-up would do.) My mom told me not to worry - it was just a harmless stink bug. I insisted that the bug was somehow “after me” in the same undeterred yet motiveless way that the monsters from horror films are always “after you” as soon as you shut off the TV.

Or maybe that’s just me.

But my mom was confident that the bugs had not randomly fixated on me.

“They’re everywhere this year,” she assured me.

We caught the bug and released it outside. I decided not to let this bother me. I was home and I wanted to relax. I shut the lights and curled up in my bed.

I was just on the edge of sleep when I heard the buzzing sound. Naturally I flipped out and got up. Being the brave, mature adult I am, I ran to my sister’s room in a panic. (My mom was already asleep and thus unavailable.) My ever dutiful sister got out of bed and volunteered to help me hunt down the bug menace.

After a brief search we found a couple of bugs sitting on the window sill. We opened the window and let them fly out. Now, I was exhausted. Being woken up just as I am about to falls asleep always leaves me very drained, plus bug hunting is stressful work. I fell asleep right away.

The next night, I checked the window sill and everything seemed clear. I shut the lights slipped under the covers. About ten second later I heard the dreaded buzzing. Being the sophisticated woman I am, I ran to my sister’s room. By all rights my sister should have been annoyed but she’s a fighter. The bugs had come back after she had kicked them out – now it was personal. She grabbed a flash light and we searched the room. After finding nothing, I decided to check the window again. Perhaps they were behind the curtain? They were. To my horror, clinging behind the navy blue curtain were at least eight fat stink bugs. I lost it. I dashed to the other side of the room and started, not screaming per say, but declaring in a high register that I hated bugs.

It’s not as if I was actually attempting to impart information on anyone. It’s just when you find eight fat stink bugs behind your curtains you’re obliged to hop up and down screaming, “oh my god, hate them, I hate them, I hate them so much!”

My sister’s generous nature had worn off. She crushed, smashed and drowned all the bugs – there were just too many to save, she insisted. One by one the bugs were uncovered and executed.

Even after the curtain was spotless (checked and double checked) there was no way I was going to sleep in that room – the bug room. So my sister begrudgingly let me bunk with her.
A couple of days passed peacefully.

One night, while sitting on my bed reading an old marine biology textbook (don’t ask), I got dive bombed by another bug. It bounced on my head, got briefly caught in my hair, and then landed on my nightstand. After screaming bloody murder and violently shaking my head like a crazed heavy metal drummer on speed, I ran off to get my sister. She wrapped the bug in a Kleenex and flushed him to his doom. My mom told me not to worry.

“They’re everywhere this year,” she reminded me.

Ironically, I had only found two other bugs in the entire house. The bug count in my room was 10+. Perhaps it was their headquarters.

After the bug was introduced to the toilet I went straight to bed. My stomach had been hurting the entire day and I was eager to sleep away the pain.

Around 1 AM I woke up. My stomach was on fire. Waves of nausea assaulted me. I ran to the bathroom and proceeded to become very ill. I must have eaten something that didn’t agree with me and my faithful body was doing her best to get rid of it as fast as possible. When I left the bathroom around 2:30 I was in tears. There wasn’t a single part of my body that wasn’t in pain.I cried myself to sleep.

At 5 AM I woke up and got sick again. This time I couldn’t go back to sleep. I came out of the bathroom light headed and weak. I curled up in the bed miserable. My head was pounding, my throat was burning, my stomach was on fire, even my lower back was in agony. I didn’t think I could feel any worse.

Then I heard it. Buzzing.

I couldn’t move, I was too weak and in too much pain. And yet, for the first time I wasn’t afraid of the bugs. As soon as I could move again I swore I was going to find an army issue flame thrower and roast the little bastards alive. Oh how glorious it would be! Me, standing there, with black paint and camouflage holding a flame thrower twice my height. Perhaps I would say something clever, “die you buggers,” or perhaps I would say nothing before I squeezed the trigger. The bugs would make a shrill little squeal before exploding like overdone popcorn. I would laugh. It would be glorious.

Suddenly, the retard-tastic exterminator from Atlanta popped into my head.

“There are serious psychological consequences to a pest infestation,” he had warned me.

Of course, I had not taken him seriously. Who would?

“He’s nuts,” I told my sister after he was out of earshot. “No one goes loopy because of a few bugs.”

As I lay there dreaming about fricasseeing my room invaders I wasn’t laughing manically, but if I could have, I would have.

I Am a Sonic Fan

I was looking for a specific piece of Sonic fanart the other day. I knew who the artist was, so I went to their website. To my surprise, it was closed. I followed a link to their new site looking for the Sonic images but the artist had not posted them. When I asked why, they told me that they were not a fan anymore. They said fans have a reputation for being aggressive, obsessed and detached from reality. They didn’t want to be associated with those types of people. They were ashamed of being a Sonic fan.

I had never heard this before. After all, I am a Sonic fan and I have never been ashamed of it. This made me curious and I started to look around.

As I went through the internet, fiction sites, Tumblr posts, chat rooms, forums and D.A. accounts, I saw a small slice of what this artist was talking about. I read all kinds of heated arguments such as, Sonic should be with Amy/Sally, the older/newer games are the best or even what makes you a “real” fan.

I am not going to get into an argument about the “best” way to prove a true fan or who Sonic should be dating. I want to address this increasingly prevalent ”hush hush, don’t say you like Sonic” aspect of the fandom.

When I question people about why they feel embarrassed, I always get the same answer, “the fans are crazy.” Are they? I suspect the majority of Sonic fans are probably not the vocal ones. The first Sonic game was released in 1991. The fans who were 10 back then are over 30 now. I can’t provide numbers, but logic would dictate that these fans are not the ones perpetuating the nit-picky arguments, the personal attacks and the obsessive need to prove you are the “biggest” fan.

So, if we rule out the majority of the early fans, then who are these so called “crazies” that Sonic fans are ashamed of? Is it the younger fans?

No, it’s not. While age has a lot to do with one’s maturity level, it does not automatically dictate how one will behave. Most of these “crazy” fans might be younger but they are not argumentative, closed minded and immature because they are younger. Younger fans, simply by virtue of not being born early enough to play the first few games, get a lot of heat. They are often accused of not being “real fans.” That is a terrible thing to say to someone and it’s an incorrect mindset. How long someone has liked something does not indicate how strongly they enjoy it. Yes, they may have missed out on the “feel” of the early years but the older fans can’t appreciate the “feel” of the newer years. Both are valid.

But I digress… if it’s not the early fans and it’s not automatically the younger fans then who are these people that, quite literally, make others feel ashamed?

The answer is simple. Sonic is a huge (and I mean huge) fandom which encompasses millions of people. Within those millions there are going to be some individuals who are disrespectful, closed minded, argumentative and mean spirited. My point is this: these people are going to be disrespectful, closed minded, etc. whether they are Sonic fans or not. Why should I (or you) let these people flavor the fandom as a whole? Why should they ruin everything that is good? Why should I personalize, internalize and feel shame because someone I never met is a badly behaved? Would you feel shame if someone cut in front of you at the ticket counter? Would you feel ashamed if some ass-wipe stole your parking space? Would you feel ashamed if some idiot was berating an innocent waitress? I doubt it. So why let those same people take away something you love? Why is it when someone is a fan the behavior of any other fan automatically reflects on everyone. Anyone who would honestly pass judgment on a stranger because some people who share that fan base act like idiots, needs to re-examine their ideals.

I do not speak of this lightly. I know how it feels. I was a fan of anime/manga back when you had to be 18 to buy Urusei Yatsura on VHS. Back when the first Vampire Hunter D film was considered “cutting edge.” Back before there was Tokyopop, Funimation or even Viz. I know what it feels like to be lumped into a stereotype, to be attacked on a personal level because of someone else’s misconception. People assumed, and some still do, that I am an unwashed, obsessive, overweight, male otaku who masturbates to big breasted “cartoon” school girls. Those people are very surprised when I tell them I am an out-going, 30 something, female graphic designer who loves to cook.

To all those fans who back away from something because it embarrasses them or because they are afraid of what others think, I implore you, stand up. Stand up and be proud. If every respectful, understanding, mature person admit to being a fan then people would say, “gosh, Sonic fans are great.” But when you back away then all people see are the crazies. The loud ones. The ones who don’t care. Do you want their behavior to dictate the image of a Sonic fan?

After all, I am a Sonic fan.

Are you?

Lyric Nazi

My mom says I am the lyric Nazi and finally have decided to agree with her. I just cannot enjoy music without picking the lyrics to death. Take for example, Kris Allen's, "Live Like We're Dying."

Let me preface this by saying I really like this song. The melody is catchy and the message is uplifting. That being said, the lyrics drive me insane. For the entire first verse and for half of the second Kris Allen says "we" when singing about the events in the song. So, after seven lines of "we" he suddenly switches to "you" with the line, "so if your life flashed before you..." Drives me nuts! Lemme put the lyrics here in case anyone hasn't heard this song.

Verse 2
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done

Tell me that doesn't make you nuts? Wouldn't it be better to say, "so if our lives flashed before us, what would we wished we would've done?" Or if he has to say "you" he should start the you with the whole gun in the face imaginary (i.e.) "If you were staring down the barrel of a gun and your life flashed before you..." etc.

He does this again in the third verse. He says "if your plane fell out of the skies" and then finishes by saying, "so when we long absolution, they'll be no one on the line."

Makes me nuts, I tell you! Nuts!

As for the refrain, every site says something different so I'll refrain from commenting on those lyrics :)

Still, I like the song!

Thoughts on New Earth

I have to say I was very disappointed in Davies' writing in the Doctor Who episode, New Earth. Davies introduces a fantastic and complicated plot but just cannot continue it through to the end. It feels rather like he is trying to cover a four inch stab wound with a small band-aid. You just cannot wrap up the deep issues this episode brings up with the weak ending he gives us. I don't think Davies has the sophistication to pull this story off.

For those of you who haven't seen New Earth but for some odd reason are reading this anyway, it's about a future Earth where a group of "nuns" grow thousands of pseudo humans in order to inject every known disease into them so they can cultivate catch all cures.

Well, right off the bat we see the story-line start to fall apart. We are told that the the flesh (the nuns refer to the infected as flesh) carry every known disease simultaneously. Yanno, I'm no doctor but I have this tiny sneaking suspicion that no living organism can survive having every single known disease at the same time. Setting aside any real diseases of today (because it could be argued that these are "future disease") let's examine what we are presented with by the writer. In the hospital ward we have a man who's body is turning into stone, which apparently is a slow and painful process while next to him is a another man with a disease which we are told kills you in under ten minutes. How can the flesh have both these conditions when they clearly are at odds with each other? I suppose it could be argued that they host every known disease but only express a few, (bubonic plague by the looks of it) but I feel as if this is a cop-out argument anyway. Unless I am missing something, if your main plot point is completely inconceivable, that's just bad writing.

Settings aside the argument that Davies spends way too much time on Rose's side story and not enough on the main plot, we come to my second big disappointment of this episode, Casandra. She spends the entire episode fighting to stay alive and then, mysteriously, decides it's time to die. Why? Did I miss something? How did she change so quickly? Davies loves to do this to us. On Waters of Mars Brooke spends every moment since she discovers her tragic fate, trying to survive. Then, quite mysteriously, when she is saved she turns around and kills herself! Why? We are not given even the slightest indication by Davies that she has changed her mind let alone why she has done so. This is bad writing, pure and simple.

As a small side, Casandra mentions that Rose is genetically 100% human but that line is wasted because that idea is never brought up in the story. Instead we have a five minutes scene of Rose basically feeling herself up. -.- I like Rose, I really do, but Davies concentrates on her too much and makes her too romantic toward the doctor while Moffet makes her kinda.. well.. unattached. Poor Rose.

My third and final point, the ending. After introducing a complicated issues with huge moral implications Davies wraps it up very weakly. The flesh escape and the Doctor (I don't blame you poor man...err time lord) mixes up every known antidote together (of which there are ten mind you) and sprays them over less than six infected people who, in turn, touch each other and magically pass it along to the other, oh I dunno, ten thousand people!? Really? C'mon Davies! Come on man! You gotta do better than this! I mean, you have no choice! This is bad writing. This is worse than fan fiction! Are the nuns going to be punished? How will society feel about these less intelligent human race? Are you going to address anything that matters other than Rose!?

I would have written this episode completly differently. There must be some consequence to the actions taken by the nuns. I would have ended with the doctor having to burn down the locked hospital or maybe having the flesh spread to the outer city kill everyone but themselves but then, like the nuns wanted, create a race of people immune to everything. There should be, there has to be something to learn. There has to be something to take away.

Shallow Introspections

I am one of those people that can have deep introspective insights and yet manage to remain completely shallow.

For example, I was thinking the other day about fandoms, more specifically my favorite characters. Other than just saying, "well, I like him/her best" I started to ask myself, why? Why do I like this individual, this personality, over another? Then I realized something. The characters, personas and personalities I am attracted to are either 1) people that are like myself, or 2) people that have a trait that I desire to emulate.

Take Spock from Star Trek. At a first glance, you would think that Spock is quite possibly the complete anti-thesis of me. He is quiet, reserved and analytical while I am much more like Scotty or Captain Kirk. The more I thought about it however, I realized that there are some core facets of Spock that are identical to mine. For example, Spock is stuck between two worlds, Vulcan and human, so to speak. Like him, I am stuck between two very different cultures, Turkish and American. The various cultures have extremely different values and sometimes it is very difficult to balance them.

On the other hand we have characters that I wish I could be more like, Orphen, Black Jack, Sherlock Holmes, Utena, Haruka, Lina Inverse, etc. These characters are always effortlessly "cool" while managing to also be intelligent, spirited and deep. Of course, when you don't have to eat, sleep or go to the bathroom it's easy to be perfect.

What about you? Why do you like the personalities you do?

Pandorum

I just got back from Pandorum and I gotta say, I really enjoyed it. You can check out the trailer here.

Now, I am not a fan of idiotic films. I especially can't stand sci-fi films that don't even follow the laws of physics (I am looking at you Sunshine.) While it definitely had elements of the typical "crappy video game" sci-fi thriller, Pandorum just seemed to work.

I don't want to say too much about the plot, suffice to say that humanity had ruined Earth and has now sent people out in generation ships to a planet called Tanis to repopulate. During the trip something goes horribly wrong (typically in these types of films, the plot.) The main character then wakes up from hypersleep and finds out he has to reach the nuclear reactor and stop the ship from shutting down. And that's just one tiny portion of what happens in this film.

There are some great special effects. There are some really creepy Resident Evil/Final Fantasy type concepts and there are a couple of nice twists and turns. There are also unnecessary time wasting scenes thrown in just for "excitement" (cannibal crewmen, wtf?) And some even more obvious plot devices. Still, I never felt as if I wanted to put the popcorn bag over my head in disgust.

I wish I could say the same about the trailers. The film, The Fourth Kind, made me want to vomit into my popcorn. I'm sorry but someone please tell me why an super advanced civilization that has mastered time and space would travel millions of light years only to hide out in Alaska disguised as owls and insert anal probes into the local residence? What are the hoping to find? Seriously, other than being an insane Twin peaks rip-off, this POS was made simply to scare people. It has absolutely no basis in reality or logic.

Anyway, enough ranting. Go see Pandorum. Aside of being substantially less stupid the main character looks like Tom Felton. ^.^

Twilight is getting dim...

Heroes isn't the only fandom I am having issues with lately.

BTW - If you are crazy in love with Twilight please stop reading now. I know that people have different reactions to things and this is mine.

Lemme preface by saying I do not hate Twilight, but nor do I love it. Meyer has a more accomplished style of writing than some authors but she is nowhere near as clever, innovative and sophisticated a storyteller as J.K. Rowling. Of course, that is my opinion. However, I am not interested in writing a comparison of the books. My issues is with the last Twilight novel, Breaking Dawn.

Again, if you know me, you know that I am resistant to anything too new. I do not trust the judgement of the masses so it takes me rather a long time to catch up with the popular trends. (They have to prove themselves so to speak.) However, at everyone's instance I went ahead and read Twilight after the first film came out.

The books are cute enough as far as teenage vampire romance novels go. Like I said, not brilliant but thoroughly enjoyable. As of the fourth book however I have noticed a trend in Meyer's writing that really irritates me, the dreaded deus ex machina.

Bella is confronted with the tough choices in life that, in a less dramatic way, we all have to make. The author builds and builds and builds these events up and then suddenly, everything is cleared up by circumstances outside of Bella's control. More and more I see Bella not having to make those tough choices.

SPOILERS - You Have Been Warned

To name a few...

• Bella is worried about becoming a vampire and missing out on human experiences, i.e. pregnancy. Well, along come the god machine and Bella is magically pregnant with a baby on fast forward.
• Bella is worried about having to become a vampire because she'll have to leave her human life behind. Well once again deus ex machine to the rescue. She gets so destroyed by the baby that they have to make her a vampire to save her life. Cop out!
• Bella is worried because she'll have to tell her father she's marrying Edward. Her dad passes the responsibility to her mom who magically accepts the one things she has always warned Bella against because it seemed right. WTF...
• Bella is worried about having to spend a year of her life as a mindless newborn vampire but somehow she is magically immune.
• Bella is worried that her chosing Edward over Jacob is going to destroy their friendship (which she seems to hold dear.) However, as soon as she becomes a vampire Jacob suddenly falls out of love with her because he imprints on Bella's daughter. Seriously Meyer, what a let down. We spent two, if not three books, angsting about this romance only to have it magically erased? Very disappointing. Bella has made her choice. She chose Edward. She should have to live with that knowing what it will do to Jacob.

I found the fourth book filled with these escapes. Bella isn't having to make those tough choices and it really leave me unfulfilled as a reader.

Aside from that, I also feel that Bella!Vampire is a very unlikable character. As a vampire, Bella loses everything that made her charming, her clumsiness, her insecurities, her worries. Even her personality changes. She starts referring to Jacob as a "mutt" or "dog" and other derogatory terms. The only facet that remains of her original personality is her love for Edward and frankly, that isn't enough. Her love seems more like an obsessive attachment now than a true longing. It's becoming a cliche of itself.

At any rate, I have half the book. I really hope it wraps up cleanly or I will not be buying anymore books from Stephenie Meyer.

Heroes: Season 4 The Plot Holes Have Spring a Leak

This new season of Heroes is starting to worry me a bit.

I have two major areas of concern:
They are spending too much time on Claire, there is not enough character development and the series is not focused enough.

Three! I have three major areas of concern.

BTW - If you didn't get that, stop reading this and go watch Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition sketch, now.

Spoiler Warning

Concern 1: They are spending too much unnecessary time with Claire. The entire restaurant scene last night was a perfect example. What did we learn? Only that Claire wants to take control of her life and not have her dad helping her. Don't tell me, show me. All this extra time with Claire feels tacked on and lessens the importance of her characters. I love Claire and I find myself saying, "ugh another stupid Claire scene. Who cares?"

Concern 2: There is not enough character development lately. Again, last night during Matt Parkman's dialogue with Sylar the topic of love came up and Daphne wasn't even mentioned. That really lessened the reality of the character for me. It's very hard for me to exist in that world for that hour, so to speak, when they actions of the characters feels contrived. Like a plot point just to illustrate another facet. Did Matt really love her? Show me that. All I see is him flipping through women every time his circumstances change. And not just Greg's character. It seems circumstances change for all of them but they never seem to change. It feels like every season takes place in parallel dimension.

Concern 3: Because of issue one and two the series is starting to feel loose. The longer the series runs the more the plot holes start to leak. The characters are not as strong as they once were because the story doesn't give them a chance to grow, to learn, to change and the unnecessary concentration on nothing just emphasizes this. I love Heroes but unless they run a tighter ship this show is going to sink.