Cee Lo Green's "Forget" You

Argg! Cee Lo Green! Why do you do this to me?

The "you" in his song goes from being the girlfriend stealing friend to the girlfriend herself.

"I see you [the girlfriend stealing guy] driving around town with the girl I love and I’m like,
Forget you [the girlfriend stealing guy] and forget her too! If said if I was richer, Id still be with ya [the girlfriend]."

I thought he was in love with the friend for a while! (Although that could be my yaoi nature kicking in.)

Tangled is a Twisted Mess!

I was really disappointed in Tangled. I expected more from Disney. While the graphics were stunning I felt Tangled really lacked in two key areas, character development and story development. I know a lot of people really loved this film so let me explain my reasoning before anyone gets miffed.

Tangled feels like a modern story desperately trying to squeeze itself into fairy tale format. An example of fairy tale format would be Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. Maleficent spends 16 years trying to hunt down and kill princess Aurora for no other reason than her parents snubbed her at a party. We don’t care why Maleficent does what she does. It doesn’t matter. She’s the evil witch, end of story. As for love, Prince Phillip and Aurora take one look at each other and go head over heels. They know nothing about each other. Not even each other’s name. But why they fall in love is not important. It doesn’t matter. It was meant to be. Fairy Tales do not explain motivations, give reason for events or require any character development to make them flow. They simply ask you to believe.

A more modern story set-up, such as Pixar’s How to Train Your Dragon, requires the information and the character development to make it work. It would seem strange otherwise.

The point is unless you plan on creating a complete fairy tale where nothing is questioned you need character development and story development. Tangled starts out like a pure fairy tale but then immediately becomes a modern tale. Unfortunately some aspects remain in the fairy tale format and as a result the story really lacks as complete work.

Character Development
Rapunzel’s Love for her Mother: One of the most critical relationships in this story is between Rapunzel and the woman she believes is her mother. (In actuality she is a witch who doesn’t care about Rapunzel at all and is simply keeping her around for her magical hair.) The witch uses love as weapon to trap and keep Rapunzel with her. The love (or lack thereof) that they have for each other is a massively important plot point but it does not get the treatment it deserves.

In the beginning Disney seems to acknowledge the strength of the child-parent relationship. Rapunzel has a montage where she’s stuck between being thrilled that she's outside for the first time and freaking out because she's hurting her mother's feelings. She says many times in the show that she loves her mother. But Rapunzel doesn’t react strongly enough when she finds out that the woman she thought was her mother for 18 years is actually a witch who doesn’t care about her. This witch might not be her biological mother but she raised Rapunzel, right? So the bond is there. Rapunzel should have been devastated. Even children who are abused and neglected still try to seek their parent’s affection. Instead she suddenly turns into a tower of internal strength and confidence and seems more or less fine when her mother is killed. If this were a fairy tale, this reaction would be fine. She’s evil and now she’s gone. But it isn’t. Rapunzel loves her mother. She says so through-out the story. That love will not just vanish. It may turn into hate or bitterness but it should manifest in some form. There should have been a screaming match or at least some kind of crying and hysterics.

The Motivation of the Witch: Raising a child is very hard work. Pretending to feel someway about someone when you don’t is just as difficult. And yet, the antagonist does both without question. Again, if this were a fairy tale “because” would be the reason, but it’s not. This witch needs character development very badly. Why did she undertake this tremendous task? Why does she wants to keep on living? What is she living for? Is she involved in some massive plot that takes years to unfold? Is she just afraid to die? We need to know something, anything about why she would do what she did.

Flynn: I know a lot of people adore Flynn. As a character he has a lot of potential given his fun and lively personality but unfortunately he comes off very flat. Flynn tries to be a mix between a thief and thrill seeking adventure but he fails at both.

No one really grows up wanting to become a thief. Most characters either must to steal to survive, like Aladdin, become a thief in order to further some political agenda (i.g. Robin Hood) or live in an environment that promotes and encourages that kind of behavior, like Gambit. Flynn has none of these motivations. Nor does he have any of the quintessential personality traits we often see in thieving sorts. He should have been played as a charismatic guy who acts like he cares but is really only out for number one. (This would be enforced by the scene when he ditches his partners in crime after stealing the crown.)

In a thief scenario he should meet Rapunzel, and actively decide himself to use her to further his agenda. Then they fall in love but he is stuck in his ways. He betrays her and leaves her out to dry thinking her influence will leave him but it doesn’t. He returns to save her because he realizes he finally cares about someone more than himself and is “killed.” As it stands now it feels like he's only a thief for the convenience of the plot. This makes him come off as this half-baked, wimpy little funny friend who has no leg to stand on because his only personality trait is not really his.

Let’s say Flynn is played more as a thrill seeker adventurer than a thief. So he’s meandering through his pointless life, desperately trying to find some way to validate his lonely existence. (This would be enforced by his back story about being an orphan.) But a person who would be comfortable jumping into dangerous scenarios and living as a wanted criminal “just for funsies” is not going to be someone who would marry a princess without a second thought. He would value his freedom and his lack of emotional baggage.

In a thrill seeker scenario he can fall in love with Rapunzel but when he finds out she’s a princess (thus being with her would make a consort or even a potential king) he should have an emotional scene and leave her. Then he finds out she’s in trouble, goes back to save her, has a revelation and decides he needs her more than his freedom.

Flynn doesn’t fit any of these molds. He’s just an easy going kind of guy who likes to have fun.

Story Development
Toward the end of the film Rapunzel sees the decorations she has painted all over her room match the décor of the royal place and she realizes she’s the lost princess. I’m sorry but that is weak, weak, weak. How could she remember something from when she was in the crib? This is a pivotal moment for her. She realizes her "mother" is a phony who has stolen her from her parents and her throne and has rerouted the course of her life! There needed to be something much more solid going on here in order for Rapunzel to suddenly become strong enough to confront and emotionally overcome her mother to such a huge degree that her death is accepted as necessary.

If I were writing this I would have Rapunzel have a handicap whereby she’s unable to tell if people are lying because she has no experience with any other humans. As she travels with Flynn (who being a thief would have loads of excuses to lie to her) she slowly starts to learn when she’s being played. When she returns home she questions the mother, “do you love me,” watches her expression and realizes she’s lying. At the end she can ask Flynn the same question and finds he’s not lying.

Unfortunately love is the other story development that just didn’t happen for me in Tangled. I know they didn't have time but they should have changed the set-up in order to bring Rapunzel and Flynn closer together. I can kindasee her falling for him right away. He is the first man she has ever seen. He’s attractive and charming and she bonds to him as they travel.
For Flynn however, there needed to be more content, more scenes of bonding, more introspection on his part. Right now I get the feeling that only he’s interested in her because she is different than anyone else. As it stands now I don't see their bond being strong enough for him to warrant essentially placing himself in a glided prison as her royal mate. They could have made this stronger. She should be the thing that he has spent his life searching for, a purpose and validation which he never had as an orphan. This is a momentous revelation for him. His entire way of life will be altered if he decides to pursue her. We never see that moment for her. The moment when he decides she is it. We get a hint of this feeling in their duet when he says, “this is where I’m meant to be,” but his actions afterwards don’t really reflect any change in him. The story just kinda leads him to her when he should be headed to her himself of his own volition.

The entire story feels very contrived. The characters exist to further the plot instead of the plot revealing the character’s stories to us. While I understand that story is essentially for kids and there are going to be silly issues that go unaddressed, (like why the people of this kingdom don’t have a problem with a virtual unknown claiming to be the next in line to the throne who, on top of having no proof of her lineage, is also possibly going to make a known criminal their new king) but Disney has produced some masterful children’s stories in the past. Compared to another film from this genre, How to Train Your Dragon, this was just sloppy. I know Disney can do better.

Captain Jack, Black Jack and Dr. House

Hugh Laurie will be appearing in an animated commercial with Osamu Tezuka's Black Jack in order to promote the Japanese DVD release for the fourth season of House. Isn't that fun?! Head Over to Anime News Network for more info.

I gotta say, I'm really glad House is making a reference to Black Jack because some episodes, quite a few in fact, are nearly exact copies of Black Jack stories. House himself makes reference to an outcast doctor he met in Japan referred to as "Black."

In Other news, click the image below to check out the new PoTC 4 teaser trailer on Youtube!

Lyric Nazi

My mom says I am the lyric Nazi and finally have decided to agree with her. I just cannot enjoy music without picking the lyrics to death. Take for example, Kris Allen's, "Live Like We're Dying."

Let me preface this by saying I really like this song. The melody is catchy and the message is uplifting. That being said, the lyrics drive me insane. For the entire first verse and for half of the second Kris Allen says "we" when singing about the events in the song. So, after seven lines of "we" he suddenly switches to "you" with the line, "so if your life flashed before you..." Drives me nuts! Lemme put the lyrics here in case anyone hasn't heard this song.

Verse 2
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done

Tell me that doesn't make you nuts? Wouldn't it be better to say, "so if our lives flashed before us, what would we wished we would've done?" Or if he has to say "you" he should start the you with the whole gun in the face imaginary (i.e.) "If you were staring down the barrel of a gun and your life flashed before you..." etc.

He does this again in the third verse. He says "if your plane fell out of the skies" and then finishes by saying, "so when we long absolution, they'll be no one on the line."

Makes me nuts, I tell you! Nuts!

As for the refrain, every site says something different so I'll refrain from commenting on those lyrics :)

Still, I like the song!

David Guetta, you fail...

Anyone here familiar with the song, Sexy Bitch?

In the refrain he says,
"I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful."

And what does he come up with? "Damn, you's a sexy bitch."
Wow, way to go pal. No disrespect there.

Then again, I can see where the guy is coming from. I mean, English is such a limited and constrictive language. I don't think I could describe Johnny Depp without using at least two swear words and mentioning his ass.

I mean, "sexy bitch." Wow, that says it all. No reason to describe the girl or say anything about her appearance. It's just like in fairy tales! "The handsome prince swept the beautiful princess off her feet." Except now it's the "the horny singer wanted to rub his butt against the sexy bitch."

*sigh*

And when he does describe her, he says, "she's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before. Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood hoe."

Disregarding the fact that those sentences are horrendously incorrect, saying she's not like a hoe isn't exactly a compliment. (And just what exactly is a hoe? Is it a prostitute or just a lose woman?)

You know, it wouldn't be so annoying if he didn't say he was intentionally trying to be respectful. So we have to assume, either there is no respectful way to describe this girl or that the singer just has no clue how to be respectful. Either way, David Guetta, you fail.

The Beast Below

Be forwarned, there are spoilers for the Doctor Who Season 5 episode, The Beast Below, well... below.

I have to say I am disappointed in this episode. Moffet's writing was not what I expected it to be. The behaviour of the characters was inconsistent, the story was convoluted, and there was no message.

Without going into too much detail, I have to say I was sorely disappointed in the doctor's line mentioning that after paralyzing the starwhale he'd have to get a new name. Good grief doc. He has committed numerous unthinkable atrocities and he freaks out because he has to spare some poor creature intolerable pain? Where did this wishy-washy dolt come from? And I cannot believe Amy, a woman so strong she's willing to sacrifice thousands of lives on a hunch, would hit the "forget" button. It didn't seem consistent. And recall the little kid shot down into the stomach of the beast because he got a zero? Is that a direct order of the Queen? The Queen had been making all the rules, right? Is she sending the kids down there because she knows the beast likes them? Or is she just a heartless, callous, monster? If that's the case, then why have the "oh my poor subjects are being fed to a beast," malarkey?

Setting aside the idea that a city on the back of a giant monster floating in space is overused, the original part of the story was far too convoluted. Why cover a powerful core story with over-hyped, scary tripe such as the elevator scene? Why have the "smilers?" It's not necessary. None of it. What was the point in having the queen character turn out to be so old? If it was it to show that even she, someone who (supposedly) cared about her people, would keep making the same bad choices over and over again, it was a very long winded and confusing way to go about it. And what was with the brief and underplayed democracy theme? It seemed like it was going to go someone but never made it. The story was overflowing with tons of ideas that were never fully realized, it's as if Moffet finally got the right to play in the kitchen and threw everything imaginable into the stew.

And my biggest complaint, there was no message. The humans who created this awful war, escaped by torturing the starwhale, and essentially terrorized their populous for hundreds of years, got away scott free. No one changed, no lesson was learned. The humans are the same at the end as they were in the beginning. There was no punishment, no consequence for their actions. So what's the message?

Thoughts on New Earth

I have to say I was very disappointed in Davies' writing in the Doctor Who episode, New Earth. Davies introduces a fantastic and complicated plot but just cannot continue it through to the end. It feels rather like he is trying to cover a four inch stab wound with a small band-aid. You just cannot wrap up the deep issues this episode brings up with the weak ending he gives us. I don't think Davies has the sophistication to pull this story off.

For those of you who haven't seen New Earth but for some odd reason are reading this anyway, it's about a future Earth where a group of "nuns" grow thousands of pseudo humans in order to inject every known disease into them so they can cultivate catch all cures.

Well, right off the bat we see the story-line start to fall apart. We are told that the the flesh (the nuns refer to the infected as flesh) carry every known disease simultaneously. Yanno, I'm no doctor but I have this tiny sneaking suspicion that no living organism can survive having every single known disease at the same time. Setting aside any real diseases of today (because it could be argued that these are "future disease") let's examine what we are presented with by the writer. In the hospital ward we have a man who's body is turning into stone, which apparently is a slow and painful process while next to him is a another man with a disease which we are told kills you in under ten minutes. How can the flesh have both these conditions when they clearly are at odds with each other? I suppose it could be argued that they host every known disease but only express a few, (bubonic plague by the looks of it) but I feel as if this is a cop-out argument anyway. Unless I am missing something, if your main plot point is completely inconceivable, that's just bad writing.

Settings aside the argument that Davies spends way too much time on Rose's side story and not enough on the main plot, we come to my second big disappointment of this episode, Casandra. She spends the entire episode fighting to stay alive and then, mysteriously, decides it's time to die. Why? Did I miss something? How did she change so quickly? Davies loves to do this to us. On Waters of Mars Brooke spends every moment since she discovers her tragic fate, trying to survive. Then, quite mysteriously, when she is saved she turns around and kills herself! Why? We are not given even the slightest indication by Davies that she has changed her mind let alone why she has done so. This is bad writing, pure and simple.

As a small side, Casandra mentions that Rose is genetically 100% human but that line is wasted because that idea is never brought up in the story. Instead we have a five minutes scene of Rose basically feeling herself up. -.- I like Rose, I really do, but Davies concentrates on her too much and makes her too romantic toward the doctor while Moffet makes her kinda.. well.. unattached. Poor Rose.

My third and final point, the ending. After introducing a complicated issues with huge moral implications Davies wraps it up very weakly. The flesh escape and the Doctor (I don't blame you poor man...err time lord) mixes up every known antidote together (of which there are ten mind you) and sprays them over less than six infected people who, in turn, touch each other and magically pass it along to the other, oh I dunno, ten thousand people!? Really? C'mon Davies! Come on man! You gotta do better than this! I mean, you have no choice! This is bad writing. This is worse than fan fiction! Are the nuns going to be punished? How will society feel about these less intelligent human race? Are you going to address anything that matters other than Rose!?

I would have written this episode completly differently. There must be some consequence to the actions taken by the nuns. I would have ended with the doctor having to burn down the locked hospital or maybe having the flesh spread to the outer city kill everyone but themselves but then, like the nuns wanted, create a race of people immune to everything. There should be, there has to be something to learn. There has to be something to take away.