Random Fandom

We Are Not Amused

2012-01-30T15:57:00.001-08:00

For some reason I have never been able to get salons to cut my hair the way I want. I haven’t had a single encounter where the stylist did what I asked for without an argument. It seems to be their lot in life to make my stay as uncomfortable as possible. My last visit was no exception.

My sister and I both wanted to cut our hair so I called a salon nearby and made appointments.

The day came and we headed out. The salon was only a few blocks away so, despite the cold weather, my sister said we should walk. If it were up to me, we would never walk anywhere. I think feet are meant to work pedals - which my sister finds ironic since I dislike driving more than I dislike walking.

We arrived at the salon and were greeting by two immaculately coiffured ladies. One offered us a drink and the other directed us to the changing room. We donned our robes and sat down. Within minutes a slim, tall, very energetic and very gay young man bound up to my sister.

“Hi there,” he chirped, bouncing on his heels in excitement. “I’m Beri! Let’s get started!” My sister hopped up, fueled by his energy and they walked off side by side like the best of friends. I waited, excited for my own rent-a-friend to come by and make me pretty.

I waited.

And waited.

Ten minutes later a woman with a tightly wound bun and a bored expression walked up to me.

“Michael is ready to see you now,” she said. “Follow me.”

Well, now I am annoyed. As I sat down on my chair I tried to remain positive. This time would be different. I just needed a very simple blunt cut. Easy peasy, right?

Another five minutes passed. My sister was giggling up a storm with Beri.

Finally a tall man with a distinctive nose and an aura of self-importance strode over to me. He looked down at my hair, spread it through his fingers and said in a posh London accent, “now, what are we doing with this?”

Well, for starters we would like to punch you in the nose but we won’t cus we’re trying to have a good day.

“Are you Michael?” I asked, trying to start this relationship (however brief it was) on a good note.

“Of course I am,” he said in a tone that told me he was offended. Why he should be offended I have no idea. In my world, people usually introduce themselves before they start touching you. In a moment of snarkiness I thought about saying, “don’t you mean of course we are?”

I decided against it. Maybe it was a good thing he had used the singular? Perhaps only half of him was offended. I decided to talk to the happy half.

“I want to cut the blonde off.”

You see, about a year back I had dyed the bottom half of my hair blonde and it had recently turned the color of rotten squash. I wanted it gone.

There was no word from Michael. I began to get nervous. When he spoke his voice was laced with concern.

“All the blonde? Really?” he sounded as if I had asked him to shave my head and dye my scalp purple. “That’s a lot of hair.”

“That’s fine, that’s what I want.”

“That’s a lot of hair,” he repeated.

I wish I had had the guts to say, “are we deaf?” Instead I forced a smile.

“That’s fine. Just cut it off.”

“That’s a lot of hair,” he said again, his tone slightly more urgent. I started to speak when he interrupted me. “If I cut that much hair you’ll have a bob.”

A bob? I looked in the mirror. I could see where the blond began. It would clearly have not been a bob even if he cut an inch above the line. But he had said it and now I was worried.

“I don’t want a bob,” I said quickly.

“Yeah…” Came the response in a tone that would have made it interchangeably with “no shit.”

“Can you cut the blonde off without giving me a bob?”

This was too much. Michael put his hands up.

“Listen, why don’t you think about what you really want?”

He left and began chatting with the woman behind the entrance counter.

I looked in the mirror annoyed and confused. What was this dope going on about? More importantly, how could I convince him I wanted this blonde off post haste without him pitching a fit and chopping my hair off in spite? He seemed just the sort who would too. And what was his beef with bobs anyway? Had a guy named Bob cheated on him? Did a customer with a bob sue him? Was he booed off “The Price is Right?”

A happy voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked around and located my sister. She and Beri were singing selections from Rent. They looked thick as thieves and twice as chummy.

Ugh. Once again I had ended up with Satan’s answer to a stylist. I had to stick to my guns this time. I wanted the rotten squash blonde gone. I vowed to tell Michael exactly that when he came back. I steeled myself and waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Michael was only eight feet away. I kept making eye contact but he was ignoring me. Perhaps he had decided that I didn’t look like I had thought about it enough. Obviously I needed to think more. The lady behind the counter began to get nervous. She kept smiling at me and tapping Michael. He seemed oblivious. Finally she decided to walk my way. He followed her still chatting up a storm.

“So I said, girl… girl, you have got to dump him already! But she wouldn’t! It was a disaster, just like my last home do-over. Those colors. Ugh. Now my place looks awful. I tried calling…”

The woman stopped responding in an effort to get him to pay attention to me. Michael was undaunted. He spent another minute gabbing about his interior design disaster when the manager walked up and said she needed help. She took the other woman by the arm and led her away.

Michael, having no one else to talk to, finally turned his attention to me.

“So, what have we decided?”

Oh, goody, we were back. I suppose Michael two was no longer annoyed with me. It wouldn’t last of course.

“I really want to get this blonde off.”

Michael sighed loudly. He made fake scissors with his fingers and indicated a random point nearly two inches above the blonde line.

“I’ll have to cut this much off to get that blonde. If you want the blonde gone, why don’t you just dye it?”

Because dying it was going to cost me easily twice what a hair cut would.

“I am allergic to hair dye.”

Michael perked up immediately. At rapid fire pace he began to drop “facts” about the new dye the salon was using. It didn’t irritate skin. It was “all natural” he kept saying. I was getting mighty sick of that phrase. I told him I had psoriasis and I couldn’t put dye on my hair. He was unmoved; he said it was safe, all natural. Before I could interject, he ordered the girl behind the counter to “whip us up some dye.” She ran off. The manager, sensing some tension, came over and told me the dye was for a skin test and not for my hair.

“Look, I don’t know if I want to dye anything right now. Can you just cut the blonde,” I asked again.

Michael changed tactics.

“But your face is so round.”

A-ha! Now I had him! Stylists had been telling me that my face was rounder than the full moon since I was ten. I was prepared.

“Oh yes,” I agreed quickly, “But if you leave the strands in the front long they’ll cut across my cheeks.”

“Oh.”

Oh, I got you! I got you good! There was nothing left. There was no logical argument he could make now. I had won.

“So…” Michael began again fumbling around for another foothold for this argument. “Do you want your hair cut or do you want the blonde gone?”

“Cut it here,” I replied indicating where the blonde actually was.

Michael stiffened. His accent went from Claridge’s receptionist to East End pub owner in three seconds.

“Look, why don’t we dye it instead? Your face is so round.”

“I would like it cut.”

“But it’s not the right season to cut it. It’s just too… cold out.”

Too cold? The man was from London and he was bald. This was Atlanta. It was 68 degrees in the middle of January. But, in my silence, he kept on, insisting that somehow the frigid Atlanta weather, combined with the particular circumference of my face was a lethal combination that would drop me dead the moment I stepped outside.

The assistant my stylist had sent for the dye returned. She, along with Michael, began to apply it to various places on my body to check if I would have a reaction. The manager looked apologetic.

As they worked away, applying dye, and bandaging my skin, I looked over at my sister. She was already having her hair dried. When Michael started going into detail about the dying process, I cracked. I just wanted out.

I waited for a break in the conversation.

“Look,” I said when they had finished. “Cut as much as you like and I’ll dye the rest.” I neglected to mention I would not be dying it in this salon.

This appeased Michael and he started to cut. It took about 30 seconds and afterwards he kept going on about the length.

“Oh this is a fabulous length! We love this length!”

Of course we love it. We had picked it.

It was agony listening to him go on while waiting for the dye to dry. I was thrilled when it started to burn and they had to wipe it off before the ten minutes were up.

Michael took it personality. As if I had altered the molecular structure of my skin to react to his hair dye. He then told me I had a wheat allergy. I told him I didn’t. He insisted I did.

“But, it doesn’t matter because I have this other dye that…”

But the manager stopped him this time. She said I needed to wait 24 hours to see if I had a proper reaction before they could try another dye. Michael sighed heavily and thrust his card in my face. Below his name it said, “Master Stylist.”

“My number is on it,” he said. “We’re closed tomorrow but if you call me I can tell you where I live. Come over and I’ll check it for you.”

There was no way on this green Earth I was ever, ever going to call this man let alone go to his house. If I had been up for a verbal battle I would have asked him if he really wanted guests over when his place was looking so awful.

“Sure,” I responded. I didn’t feel guilty. He was British; he knew that I really meant “not on your life.”

We paid and left.

About a week later I got a comment card from the salon asking how my experience was. I was going to be polite and not fill it out but it kept staring at me. Finally I decided I had to say something. So, in an effort to organize my thoughts I sat down on my computer and wrote a detailed summary about my experience. After it was done I felt much better. I looked down at the comment card. Now I had to fit four pages of ranting onto a 3x5 inch card. I decided to forgo the essay. I simple wrote,

“We are not amused.”

Calling Doctor Air Vent

2012-01-28T14:49:00.000-08:00

Some weeks ago, my sister saw a coupon for duct cleaning service - a full cleaning of 7 ducts for $30 from a company called…wait for it… Doctor Air Duct. Since our vents looked like the Amazon underbrush we decided it would be a good idea.

The appointment day came and I spotted the van pulling up. I took off my apron, cleaned my hands and went downstairs to open the door. Two men came toward the house. The first, a dark, slim man from Israel, extended his hand and introduced himself as the owner of the company. He must have been Doctor Air Vent. Behind him stood his assistant, a not-quite as slim, blond man who I dubbed, “Nurse” Air Vent. After the introduction, in which my name was inexplicably changed to “Bernice,” the two got to work. Doctor Air Vent hoisted a heavy wooden box on his back and began to climb the stairs to my apartment. The box looked heavy and I felt bad for him. In retrospect I should have kicked him down the stairs and let the box crush his legs. But hindsight is always 20/20 as they say.

They had just made it to the top of the stairs when my neighbor returned from walking his two dogs. I told him the men were here to clean my air vents. He waited at the bottom of the stairs smiling politely. As soon as the servicemen vanished inside, he rushed up the stairs and poked me on the shoulder.

“Their hose is taped together,” he said in an urgent whisper. He then gave me this look that clearly indicated his feelings on taped hoses. After a moment he continued. “Well, let me know if they’re any good. I was thinking of having my vents cleaned again.”

“Oh,” I said, “you’ve had them cleaned before?”

“Oh, yeah! These apartments used to be where all the druggies, prostitutes and drag queens lived. Oh my god, they were horrible. When I first moved in I had all the ducts cleaned.”

He closed his door. I stood there, my mind now filled with the image of a coked up prostitute hanging an, “open for business” sign outside my bedroom window while her drag queen roommate lay on the floor unconscious.

Back inside I found Nurse Air Vent staring up at the wall.

“Your ducts are painted shut,” he told me. I waited for a follow-up comment such as, “I’ll have to pry them open” but he just stood there staring at me like a trout. A good ten seconds passed in silence.

“Ok-ay,” I responded stiffly, “get something to pry them open with.” I quickly suggested an old knife but Nurse Air Vent said he had a scraping device he used for such occasions.

Good gravy.

If he had this do-hickey the whole time then why hadn’t he told me? Was he testing me? Was this some kind of Air Vent exam?

Now I am annoyed. I went to the computer room to respond to some e-mails.

I was mid-way through an e-mail, when Nurse Air Vent proclaimed “that’s disgusting” and I heard something being dropped in the toilet. I stood up to investigate when the men came out of the bathroom. Doctor Air Vent informed me that my ducts were the dirtiest he’d ever seen.

“They are completely clogged with hair,” he said.

As he held up a huge black hairball, I got an image of the girl from The Grudge crawling through my air ducts and scaring away the prostitute’s clients.

“It’s not my hair,” I said. This wasn’t helpful but I felt obliged to clarify the point as if having someone else’s hair in my vent was somehow less disgusting. I head back to my e-mail.

“Oh, you can’t stay here,” Doctor Air Vent told me hauling a ladder into the room. “We need to disinfect.” He seemed solemn, like a surgeon looking at an X-ray of cancer ridden lung. “You need to leave or you could choke.”

“You’re going to spray something in my vent? Won’t I breathe that?”

“We use all natural products,” Air Vent MD said rather quickly.

For a moment I thought about telling him that lead and mercury were “all natural” products but I decided that wasn’t a very helpful attitude. I left the room and sat on the sofa.

After a few minutes, the men had finished every room except for the one where I was seated. As I watched, they attached the taped hose to the wooden box and stuck the opposite end (which was shaped like a feather duster) into the vent. Nurse Air Vent walked over to the box and bent down. As his hand reached out for the ON switch, I looked at the feather duster and back down at the box.

You see, I was under the impression that they had been vacuuming the ducts clean but now I saw that the box housed a pump. There was a brief moment of calm before it really sunk in. I leapt to my feet just as the device was turned on and a stream of black dust shot out of the vent and onto my face. I looked around in horror as it coated my PS3, all my DVDs and blanketed the floor.

I tried to yell at them to stop but as soon as I opened my mouth I started to cough. I had to go out in the hallway and wait for the dust to settle.

When I came back in Doctor Air Vent had pulled out my filter. It was covered with course, black hairballs. He showed it to me and started to explain that there was a lot of hair lodged in such a small filter. It didn’t matter. The drag queen could have been lodged in the filter for all I cared. Considering the amount of hair that came out I’m surprised she wasn’t.

“There is dust everywhere!” I snapped.

Doctor Air Vent seemed surprised.

“Your vents were really dirty” he said nodding. “But don’t worry, we are used to it.”

I was livid. I shut my eyes and stood stone still, unable to respond. I imagined shoving the hairballs down Doctor Air Vent’s throat.

“Auuuggg,” he would gurgle and I would laugh. Perhaps I would give Nurse Air Vent to the crack whore.

“Are you going to clean this up,” I said trying to keep my tone light and sweet.

I failed.

“Yes,” they both cried out. Then, after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Doctor Air Vent timidly asked if I had a broom. Why he didn’t carry a broom on him was beyond me. Considering the nature of his business consisted of ejecting refuse into people’s living rooms, he should have had one handy. Then again, perhaps his other customers enjoyed squalor? Maybe they liked a nice thick coat of black soot over their sensitive electronics and grooming appliances? I sure didn’t, but it takes all kinds.

At any rate the quack was lucky I didn’t have a broom on me ‘cus I would have made him sit on it.

Seeing my expression, the nurse rushed into another room and began to screw the vents back in place. I grabbed some disinfecting wipes and began to clean off my electronics. Suddenly it dawned on me that this is what they had been doing the whole time. I steeled myself and did quick turn around the house. Sure enough, there was a thick coating of black soot over everything in every room.

I freaked out.

Air Vent Md unhooked his hose and proceeded to blow a black cloud of dust out into the hallway. (For those of you who have played Skyward Sword, imagine Link with his Gust Bellow at Pip’s mother’s house.) He failed and it got lodged underneath my welcome mat. I gave him a withering look and he gave me a weak smile.

To their credit, Doctor and Nurse Air Vent stayed with me until the floors were cleaned. I felt bad for them after a while and let them leave. I proceed to clean the dust off all the surfaces, wash the towels and boil the toothbrushes (which were coated in black soot.)

After two hours of grueling cleaning I had to concede to nature’s call. I opened the toilet and found a nasty, fat, hair ball staring up at me.

It was the last straw. I started crying and texted my sister to come home as soon as possible. I gave up cleaning, made a pot of tea and watched “Keeping Up Appearances.”

When I had calmed down, I ran to my neighbor and told him all about my vent debacle. Holding one chocolate brown daschund under his arm he listened very politely until I had exhausted myself. As we parted ways he got this naughty smile.

“Well,” he said, “at least your vents are clean.”

Black March

2012-01-20T05:21:00.000-08:00

Please join Black March in protest of SOPA and PIPA.

403: Forbidden

2012-01-10T18:57:00.000-08:00

Are you freaking kidding me? How does this even happen?

WTF?!

2012-01-08T18:08:00.001-08:00

So, not only do I not get to understand the options, I don't actually have any.

Awesome.

Birthday cookies

2011-12-29T19:29:00.001-08:00

These are the cookies my friends made me for my birthday.

Bishounen + cookies. Bishounen you can eat.

Too awesome!

Twilight Bashing

2011-12-29T17:16:00.000-08:00

I think I have just run across too many of those, “why this books sucks essays” because I am getting fed up with the Twilight bashing.

Let me preface this by saying, I am not a Twihard. However, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the series does have a certain charm – and I love vampires. If the novels were completely bad then it would be impossible to hone in on any one aspect that needed improvement. Since the essence of the novel is solid, the areas that need work stand out.

I have already written about the problems I have with the Twilight series. You can read about it here.

From what I have observed, Twi-haters fall into two categories, those who read the novels and those who didn’t. Let me just briefly address the latter.

There are always people who dislike something simply because it’s popular. Twilight is no exception. I was at a party recently and Twilight came up in the conversation. The young man I was chatting with jokingly told me he had made it his life’s mission to have nothing to do with Twilight. He was exaggerating for dramatic effect of course, but not by much. This is an attitude I see with a lot of people.

“Did you read the books,” I ask the random Twi-hater. “Did you see the movies?”

The answer is always “no,” and they usually follow up with, “It looks stupid.”

Well, that’s just plain silly. Hugh Laurie looks stupid, that doesn’t make him so. (I say that with great respect. I adore Hugh Laurie. I think he’s brilliant and talented – but, c’mon, he looks like a bug eyed twit.) I dismiss anyone who claims to not like something because “everyone likes it.” I fall into that trap myself. If something is too popular I tend to ignore it. But I have never claimed to dislike something I have never experienced.

Of those who have read the novels, one of the top arguments is, “Twilight is not as good as Harry Potter.” Just for the record, I agree. But, why should it be? Why are we inviting a comparison anyway? I don’t recall Stephanie Meyer and J.K. Rowling entering a best written teen fiction novel contest. Yes, Meyer’s isn’t as sophisticated a writer as Rowling but Rowling isn’t as good as David Sedaris. Just because the books belong to the same genre comparing them against each other doesn’t make sense, nor does it prove anything. They were never in competition. Neither Meyer nor Rowling set out to become the next “it” writer. They simply had a story to tell and they told it the best way they could.

Another illogical Twi-hater argument is, “Twilight is bad because Bella is a Mary-Sue.” My response to that is, so what? Creating a cookie cutter character is perfect in some instances - for example, Tintin. Tintin is one of the most beloved comic characters of all time and he is a complete self-insert of the author. He doesn’t have a favorite food, an eye color or even a last name. That format works for Tintin and it works for Twilight too. Bella is mean to be the “every girl” character in a romance novel. And Meyer does describe Bella, just not with any great detail. (By the way, for you comparison lovers Rowling didn’t tell us Malfoy was blonde until book three.) The details of Bella’s hair, face, eyes, etc. is not important to the story. In fact, the less said about Bella’s physical appearance, the better. The point of romance novels is escapism. If Bella was described down to the last atom then the audience would have a more difficult time imagining themselves in her shoes. Edward, the object of her affection, is described in great detail. We know that Meyer understands how to paint a picture. With Bella she consciously chooses not to do so.

Another unfounded Twi-hater argument is the “sparkly vampire” bash. People love to point out how un-vampire like, and thus how not dangerous the vampires in Twilight are. Sparkly vampires just “make it stupid.” Hold the phone here kids. How exactly are the vamps not dangerous – or did I read a different novel? The whole latter half of the book is devoted to escaping a group of crazed vampires. I can’t speak for anyone else but James, Victoria and Laurent seemed awful dangerous to me. In the second novel, Bella cuts her finger and Jasper Cullen, her boyfriend’s brother (of sorts) has to be physically restrained from ripping her apart. If you were in Bella’s place and someone you trusted came after you, to eat you… yeah, that’s scary. There is plenty of dangerous vampire action going on. Anyone remember the Volturi? They didn’t play a big role but they certainly did their fair share of eating and torturing helpless victims. Just because the vampires bounce light like a brilliant cut diamond it doesn’t make them less dangerous. In fact, vampires that can go out in the day and sparkle like jewels seem far more dangerous to me than distorted, fetid, monsters in lurking the darkness. Think about it, who are you less likely to run away screaming from?

The last and most valid argument is that the writing in Twilight isn’t great. Okay, Meyer’s writing has flaws, but unless I missed something, Twilight was her first novel.

“I could write a better story than that,” just about every Twi-hater claims.
Okay, then do it.

Writing is not easy, folks. Like anything else, it comes more naturally to some than others. As a first novel, Meyer really did a bang-up job. She offered us a heartfelt, romantic piece that people across the board can enjoy.
And given the sheer number of people who do enjoy it, she must have done something right.

So give the sparkly vamps a break guys. Let’s talk about why we like Twilight for a change.

Stinking Bugs

2011-12-28T11:36:00.001-08:00

As some of you already know, there is a pest control problem in my apartment in Atlanta. For weeks my sister and I have been battling invisible blood suckers. It’s exhausting – especially for me. For every one bite my sister receives I get about ten. The bugs prefer me. Perhaps it’s because they know I hate them more.

For whatever reason, I have had to take some extreme measures in the past few weeks, taping my ankles before bed (they love my ankles), tucking in my shirt, and even wearing long sleeves on a hot Georgia night. They got me anyway, but by golly I made them work for it!

At any rate, I was extra thrilled this year to come home and celebrate the holidays. Ten days in a bug free house! What bliss! No more bandages, no more itching and no more waking up in the night with that creepy crawling feeling. You know what I mean. The feeling that wakes you up at 1 AM because you know they’re crawling on you right now.

One eight hour drive later, we were home. I went to my room to drop off my suitcase when I heard a quiet yet distinct buzzing sound. I was certain it was my imagination; after all I had just left Bug Central. This was a safe zone - a bug free zone.

Or so I thought.

The very first night a nasty looking bug dive bombed me in bed. I screamed and bolted for my mom’s bedroom (as any self respecting grown-up would do.) My mom told me not to worry - it was just a harmless stink bug. I insisted that the bug was somehow “after me” in the same undeterred yet motiveless way that the monsters from horror films are always “after you” as soon as you shut off the TV.

Or maybe that’s just me.

But my mom was confident that the bugs had not randomly fixated on me.

“They’re everywhere this year,” she assured me.

We caught the bug and released it outside. I decided not to let this bother me. I was home and I wanted to relax. I shut the lights and curled up in my bed.

I was just on the edge of sleep when I heard the buzzing sound. Naturally I flipped out and got up. Being the brave, mature adult I am, I ran to my sister’s room in a panic. (My mom was already asleep and thus unavailable.) My ever dutiful sister got out of bed and volunteered to help me hunt down the bug menace.

After a brief search we found a couple of bugs sitting on the window sill. We opened the window and let them fly out. Now, I was exhausted. Being woken up just as I am about to falls asleep always leaves me very drained, plus bug hunting is stressful work. I fell asleep right away.

The next night, I checked the window sill and everything seemed clear. I shut the lights slipped under the covers. About ten second later I heard the dreaded buzzing. Being the sophisticated woman I am, I ran to my sister’s room. By all rights my sister should have been annoyed but she’s a fighter. The bugs had come back after she had kicked them out – now it was personal. She grabbed a flash light and we searched the room. After finding nothing, I decided to check the window again. Perhaps they were behind the curtain? They were. To my horror, clinging behind the navy blue curtain were at least eight fat stink bugs. I lost it. I dashed to the other side of the room and started, not screaming per say, but declaring in a high register that I hated bugs.

It’s not as if I was actually attempting to impart information on anyone. It’s just when you find eight fat stink bugs behind your curtains you’re obliged to hop up and down screaming, “oh my god, hate them, I hate them, I hate them so much!”

My sister’s generous nature had worn off. She crushed, smashed and drowned all the bugs – there were just too many to save, she insisted. One by one the bugs were uncovered and executed.

Even after the curtain was spotless (checked and double checked) there was no way I was going to sleep in that room – the bug room. So my sister begrudgingly let me bunk with her.
A couple of days passed peacefully.

One night, while sitting on my bed reading an old marine biology textbook (don’t ask), I got dive bombed by another bug. It bounced on my head, got briefly caught in my hair, and then landed on my nightstand. After screaming bloody murder and violently shaking my head like a crazed heavy metal drummer on speed, I ran off to get my sister. She wrapped the bug in a Kleenex and flushed him to his doom. My mom told me not to worry.

“They’re everywhere this year,” she reminded me.

Ironically, I had only found two other bugs in the entire house. The bug count in my room was 10+. Perhaps it was their headquarters.

After the bug was introduced to the toilet I went straight to bed. My stomach had been hurting the entire day and I was eager to sleep away the pain.

Around 1 AM I woke up. My stomach was on fire. Waves of nausea assaulted me. I ran to the bathroom and proceeded to become very ill. I must have eaten something that didn’t agree with me and my faithful body was doing her best to get rid of it as fast as possible. When I left the bathroom around 2:30 I was in tears. There wasn’t a single part of my body that wasn’t in pain.I cried myself to sleep.

At 5 AM I woke up and got sick again. This time I couldn’t go back to sleep. I came out of the bathroom light headed and weak. I curled up in the bed miserable. My head was pounding, my throat was burning, my stomach was on fire, even my lower back was in agony. I didn’t think I could feel any worse.

Then I heard it. Buzzing.

I couldn’t move, I was too weak and in too much pain. And yet, for the first time I wasn’t afraid of the bugs. As soon as I could move again I swore I was going to find an army issue flame thrower and roast the little bastards alive. Oh how glorious it would be! Me, standing there, with black paint and camouflage holding a flame thrower twice my height. Perhaps I would say something clever, “die you buggers,” or perhaps I would say nothing before I squeezed the trigger. The bugs would make a shrill little squeal before exploding like overdone popcorn. I would laugh. It would be glorious.

Suddenly, the retard-tastic exterminator from Atlanta popped into my head.

“There are serious psychological consequences to a pest infestation,” he had warned me.

Of course, I had not taken him seriously. Who would?

“He’s nuts,” I told my sister after he was out of earshot. “No one goes loopy because of a few bugs.”

As I lay there dreaming about fricasseeing my room invaders I wasn’t laughing manically, but if I could have, I would have.

God is a Twilight Fan

2011-12-20T08:57:00.001-08:00

My sister and I are headed home tomorrow so, as such, we have no food in the house. Being Turkish, we have to have tea with breakfast. So, we decided to go to Wholefood and get some breakfast items that go well with tea. Sis got a bran muffin and I got a baguette.

We came home and poured the tea. As I was slicing the baguette with my favorite black ceramic knife (the one I adore because it’s just so sharp) I noticed that the bread was grainy. In fact, I noticed that it was wheat. Unfortunately the second I noticed that the baguette was wheat my brain forgot to move my finger away from the knife. Apparently slicing a wheat baguette is an automatic action but moving your finger away from a razor sharp ceramic blade isn’t. So, as you can image, I sliced my finger.

As I watched the blood dripping out of my finger and pooling onto the floor I had several thoughts at once.

The first one was, “See, this is why I don’t like wheat bread!”

The second was, “Gee I should clean the knife.”

The third was a little more specific. Yesterday I was on Tumblr and someone had blogged a couple of screen-caps from the Twilight parody. There were two images, one of the parody Bella with her finger cut and gushing blood everywhere, the second of the vampire (Jasper) tucking a napkin into his collar and holding up a fork and knife. When I saw that picture I though, “idiot, no one really ever cuts themselves like that.”

So, as I stood there in shock the pool of blood growing larger, I thought, “God must be a Twilight fan.”

Worst Professional Ever

2011-12-16T22:37:00.000-08:00

So we have been having trouble with some sort of pest in the apartment. I have gotten so many bites now that my legs looks like I ran into a cactus.

Anyway, we called a pest control professional (and I use that term loosely) to come and examine the house. After checking the bed for a span of 5 seconds he proudly announced it wasn't bed bugs. I knew that. I told him over the phone it wasn't bed bug or chiggers. He asked me what chiggers were.

That should have been a clue.

At any rate, I showed him the little bug we found on the bed. He had a good hard look (with a flashlight and a magnifying glass.) After a few second of "ohhhh...." he asked where we had been lately - if we had been overseas. I said we hadn't. He told us that bugs can hitch rides on luggage. He looked nervous.

Still no word of which bug - I guess it's a bug with a passport.

I hiked up my pants leg to show him the bites. After a brief moment of shock, he exclaimed, "wow! Look at that!" He didn't examine the bites or ask me anything about them. He just seemed impressed with the bug.

He went on to inform us that all the pest control products they used were natural, "All green," he said. When I asked for specifics he just repeated that they were "all green." I asked again about the safety. Were they okay around cats? He offered us a discount.

Okay, now I was getting nervous.

But I was also getting pretty fed up. In a moment of drama, I told him he had to do something or I was going to go nuts.

The exterminator became very serious.

"There are very real psychological problems associated with a pest infestation," he said solemnly. He told us of a doctor (not one he knew or could name) that, after he had retired, began to find bugs everywhere. He even started to find bugs on his wife.

How this illustrated anything other than the debatable sanity of a supposedly real man, was beyond me.

But the exterminator had psyched himself out. He started to itch. He made a joke that he was getting them. As he slowly edged his way to the front door, he randomly decided to inform us that he had failed his certification test. Apparently he had missed a question and had filled in all the bubbles wrong after that point. He asked if we had ever done anything so stupid.

Aside from hiring him, nothing came to mind.

Then, after a short and thoroughly unrelated discussion about South Africa he left.

I don't think I'm going to get any sleep tonight over the sound of the bug laughing.

Lina Inverse?

2011-12-14T07:22:00.001-08:00

Wow, Artgerm is making a huge mistake naming this character Lina Inverse. He has no idea what baggage that name comes with.

EDIT: So, turns out it's not original character. According to the Defense of the Ancients wiki her name was Lina anyway. I didn't see "Inverse" written anywhere though.

I Am a Sonic Fan

2011-12-11T21:07:00.000-08:00

I was looking for a specific piece of Sonic fanart the other day. I knew who the artist was, so I went to their website. To my surprise, it was closed. I followed a link to their new site looking for the Sonic images but the artist had not posted them. When I asked why, they told me that they were not a fan anymore. They said fans have a reputation for being aggressive, obsessed and detached from reality. They didn’t want to be associated with those types of people. They were ashamed of being a Sonic fan.

I had never heard this before. After all, I am a Sonic fan and I have never been ashamed of it. This made me curious and I started to look around.

As I went through the internet, fiction sites, Tumblr posts, chat rooms, forums and D.A. accounts, I saw a small slice of what this artist was talking about. I read all kinds of heated arguments such as, Sonic should be with Amy/Sally, the older/newer games are the best or even what makes you a “real” fan.

I am not going to get into an argument about the “best” way to prove a true fan or who Sonic should be dating. I want to address this increasingly prevalent ”hush hush, don’t say you like Sonic” aspect of the fandom.

When I question people about why they feel embarrassed, I always get the same answer, “the fans are crazy.” Are they? I suspect the majority of Sonic fans are probably not the vocal ones. The first Sonic game was released in 1991. The fans who were 10 back then are over 30 now. I can’t provide numbers, but logic would dictate that these fans are not the ones perpetuating the nit-picky arguments, the personal attacks and the obsessive need to prove you are the “biggest” fan.

So, if we rule out the majority of the early fans, then who are these so called “crazies” that Sonic fans are ashamed of? Is it the younger fans?

No, it’s not. While age has a lot to do with one’s maturity level, it does not automatically dictate how one will behave. Most of these “crazy” fans might be younger but they are not argumentative, closed minded and immature because they are younger. Younger fans, simply by virtue of not being born early enough to play the first few games, get a lot of heat. They are often accused of not being “real fans.” That is a terrible thing to say to someone and it’s an incorrect mindset. How long someone has liked something does not indicate how strongly they enjoy it. Yes, they may have missed out on the “feel” of the early years but the older fans can’t appreciate the “feel” of the newer years. Both are valid.

But I digress… if it’s not the early fans and it’s not automatically the younger fans then who are these people that, quite literally, make others feel ashamed?

The answer is simple. Sonic is a huge (and I mean huge) fandom which encompasses millions of people. Within those millions there are going to be some individuals who are disrespectful, closed minded, argumentative and mean spirited. My point is this: these people are going to be disrespectful, closed minded, etc. whether they are Sonic fans or not. Why should I (or you) let these people flavor the fandom as a whole? Why should they ruin everything that is good? Why should I personalize, internalize and feel shame because someone I never met is a badly behaved? Would you feel shame if someone cut in front of you at the ticket counter? Would you feel ashamed if some ass-wipe stole your parking space? Would you feel ashamed if some idiot was berating an innocent waitress? I doubt it. So why let those same people take away something you love? Why is it when someone is a fan the behavior of any other fan automatically reflects on everyone. Anyone who would honestly pass judgment on a stranger because some people who share that fan base act like idiots, needs to re-examine their ideals.

I do not speak of this lightly. I know how it feels. I was a fan of anime/manga back when you had to be 18 to buy Urusei Yatsura on VHS. Back when the first Vampire Hunter D film was considered “cutting edge.” Back before there was Tokyopop, Funimation or even Viz. I know what it feels like to be lumped into a stereotype, to be attacked on a personal level because of someone else’s misconception. People assumed, and some still do, that I am an unwashed, obsessive, overweight, male otaku who masturbates to big breasted “cartoon” school girls. Those people are very surprised when I tell them I am an out-going, 30 something, female graphic designer who loves to cook.

To all those fans who back away from something because it embarrasses them or because they are afraid of what others think, I implore you, stand up. Stand up and be proud. If every respectful, understanding, mature person admit to being a fan then people would say, “gosh, Sonic fans are great.” But when you back away then all people see are the crazies. The loud ones. The ones who don’t care. Do you want their behavior to dictate the image of a Sonic fan?

After all, I am a Sonic fan.

Are you?

Heroes Fantasia

2011-12-09T07:48:00.000-08:00

Heroes Fantasia has both Lina and Orphen! I would pick it up but I won't understand the plot. Also, I have no idea if it with work on a non-Japanese system. I think someone said that the PSP will play Japanese and American games but I haven't been able to verify that. And, I haven't checked, but I'm certain the game is probably not going to be cheap. But still... Gourry, Amelia, Zelgadis, Majik, Cleo... LINA and ORPHEN!!! Noooooo...want it, want it.

Anime Voice Actor's Wife Dies

2011-12-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

Voice actor Dan Green's wife died on Nov. 25th after giving birth to their children. Please visit his website if you want to make a donation or leave him a message.

As anime fans know, Dan Green is the voice behind many beloved anime characters from Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon and Sonic the Hedgehog. You can see an interview with him here.

If you can help, or want to leave him a message, please do so. I don't know if it will reach him, but he should know that his fans have him in their thoughts and prayers.

Are You Freaking Kidding Me? (Misogynistic 50s ads)

2011-12-05T05:51:00.001-08:00

Enlarge and read these. Seriously. There are no words.

2011-11-30T05:13:00.000-08:00

According to ANN Lupin the 3rd is a getting a new television special, Chi no Kokuin Eien no Mermaid.

Neon Gensis Evangelion DVDs are going out of print in the US so if you want to buy them you have to act fast. You can purchase the Platinum Boxset at Right Stuff Anime for $29.00.

The Rurouni Kenshin Live Action film will open in Japan on August 25th. Wow, I really want to see this! You can read more about it over at ANN, as always.

ANN tells me that the Rock Lee manga spin-off, Rock Lee no Seishun Full ower Ninden will be getting its own anime! Wow! Go Rock Lee!

2011-11-24T14:29:00.001-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2011-11-24T08:40:00.000-08:00

Where is the sun god people?

Apollo was one of the most beloved and worshiped of the Greek gods. Why is he missing from the modern pantheon?

There has been a slew of films / books etc that feature Greek mythology but Apollo has never had much (if any) of a role in them. Why people? He was the most popular god.

He's god of the sun. The sun! Come on people, does it get more important than that?

Proof that the creators of House are Holmes fans

2011-11-16T16:09:00.001-08:00

Would the US gov't do this to us?

2011-11-16T11:32:00.001-08:00

PROTECT IP Act Breaks The Internet from Fight for the Future on Vimeo.

Picasa

2011-11-08T09:10:00.000-08:00

I have been using Picasa to sort out my 76 gigs of images.

Picasa has this great feature that recognizes a face (after a few tries) and labels it automatically. Sounds great right? But there are a few issues that I think the good folks at Picasa HQ didn't quite think through.

1) Movie screen caps - Picasa is going loopy on me because it can't decide if the pirate is "captain sparrow" or Johnny Depp. Same for every actor. Zachary Quinto, is he Syler or Spock?

2) Non-photographs - I have anime pics. A lot of anime pics. Problem is not every image of a character looks the same in every episode or fan-art. And that's nothing compared to comics. Picasa crashed twice trying to identify Gambit.

3) Twins. Laura, Carrie you make Picasa crash every time. The does not recognize any difference and sticks all twins in the same folder. I have to manually sort through every image and if I'm going to do that I could just manually put the image into folder myself.*sigh*

4) Multiple Identities - A good example would be "the Doctor." He has several faces but he's still "the doctor." I had to start labeling them as "doctor #." Of course, even then Picasa start flipping out and saying, "but you told me this was David Tennant!!"

Arg. This is taking forever. I am going to take a break now before I kill Picasa.

2011-11-07T08:24:00.000-08:00

So apparently Merlin is shot in a region called Pierrefonds in northern France in a castle appropriately called Château de Pierrefonds.

Just goggle it! It's Camelot!

Dramatic Americans

2011-11-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

So you know, I like to download and watch documentaries while I work. I was feeling upset this morning (my kitty Lucky might be dying) so to stave off sadness till my sister came home I watched two.

The first was a BBC documentary about the discovery of a long lost Leonardo da Vinci painting, Salvator Mundi, (pictured to the left) and the second was about Nemesis, a hypothetical star that causes comets to fling into the inner solar system every 26 million years.

The discovery of a long lost painting done by the epic renaissance master is, forgive me for this Laura, slightly more mind blowing than a star which may or may not exist and may or may not cause comets to hit the Earth in ten million years. Not that Nemsis isn't exciting. Anyone who knows me knows I love love physics and astronomy. However, the theory is not as immediately relevant in my life. (Except for the fact that I might use the idea in RT.) And it's still unproven.

At any rate, the first vide was made by the BBC so the announcer says, in a calm and composed British accent, "what an amazing discovery. How lucky we are to see it [the painting.]"

Meanwhile, the second video, made by the History channel, opens with a deep voiced American accent booming, "does our star have an evil twin out in the solar system bent on destroying us?!"

Wow.

Normally I would not have noted a difference but because I had played the videos back to back I found myself really annoyed with the stupidly over hyped and garish History Channel presentation. It was filled with ominous BGMs, overblown assumptions and over simplified explanations. Such a great topic too. I just found myself longing that the BBC had done the presentation instead of the History Channel.

I think Eddie Izzard is right. Americans just cannot present information (to the masses) without tossing it in a coating of pompous hype. It lessens the drama and importance (for me) when the information is presented like a trailer for the newest Armageddon du jour film. Why are we so dramatic I wonder?

Captain Kirk in the Twilight Zone

2011-10-21T07:57:00.000-07:00

I was watching the Twilight Zone episode, "Nick of Time" when I saw that the main lead was William Shatner. Instead of saying, "oh my gosh it's William Shatner," I said, "oh my gosh, it's Captain Kirk!"

I can understand why Shatner is staying away from the Star Trek front.

Even though I know (logically) that it's Shatner on screen, I don't know him personally therefore I identify his face and voice with Kirk. Emotionally, it's as if Kirk was an actor before he joined Star Fleet while the entity known as WIlliam Shatner is his flesh and bones, Earth bound avatar.

I have a friend who gets very annoyed when I say things like, "Kaiba (from Yu-Gi-Oh!) must have been pissed off when he lost the battle." He responds with, "Kaiba isn't real. He cannot feel anything." Factually, he's right. Kaiba isn't real the same way William Shatner is, but since I will never meet William Shatner then he, emotionally, exists in the same space as Kaiba.

I feel this way about most celebrities and famous folk. Yes, they exist but they are "out there," the same way that the Loch Ness Monster is "out there." I don't emotionally distinguish the "real but never verified" from the "not real" so it's easy for me to assign emotions and feelings for non-living entities (or even objects.) I can't imagine not doing it in fact. I looked over one day and saw my favorite blanket on the floor gathering dust and I felt "sad" for it. It's not real. It can't feel abandoned or neglected but the emotional response is still there.

So, what's real in the end? If characters and objects can illicit an emotional response, such as the happiness when I saw "Kirk," then why can't the concept of "Kirk" be any more real than William Shatner?

It's something to think about... in the Twilight Zone.

Doctor 11 is not as Doctor Who

2011-09-20T09:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, well I have seen every episode released so far of Doctor 11 and I can still say (cus I've been saying it for a while now) that I just don't like him as much as 10.

I have lots of reason but it basically boils down to this, he doesn't inspire anything in me. I don't want to travel with him. He seems very ho-hum about the wonders of the universe. I do not expect him to be bouncy or manic but he should still be interested in the world around him. Instead he seems to be dragged around from adventure to adventure by other sources. He never really wants to do anything himself. At least, not as much as 10 did.

Also, I have terrible trouble trying to attach to Amy. She's too fearless, too headstrong, and too independent.When she was almost vivisected the episode with the dinosaur people, she was barely one foot out of the door of her escape when she decided she wanted to explore the ship. C'mon. I mean she doesn't have to be crying or screaming but that response was far too tame. She was almost cut apart alive.I get this feeling a lot in Moffat's writing. He gets so wrapped in the story that there isn't time for the emotions and reactions. RTD was too emotional but Moffat is not emotional enough. Between the two I prefer the overly emotional.

I know that Amy is not very an emotional character, neither is Rory or 11, but the emotional range of the characters is so toned down that when they do emote, I don't believe them. It just doesn't feel like Doctor Who. They should be overacting like hell. Moffat is trying to make the story darker, sexier and more serious but Doctor Who is supposed to be campy. When a story is presented to me as a mystery and a serious topic I want to take it seriously but Doctor Who is not meant for that. Human-dinosaurs is never going to be serious. Also, when a story is presented to me in a serious manner it's a huge disappointment when it's easy to figure out what's going on. I saw what the Pandorica was for a mile away. It was easy to guess. If Moffat hadn't been SO super serious about what was inside the Pandorica then it wouldn't have been such a huge disappointment. In the previous season even the dumbest episode, for example The Unicorn and the Wasp, was fun because it was never treated as a serious thing. It's a giant alien wasp and it's not a mystery. We see it. A giant alien wasp. Moffat's trying to make things serious, less campy, and it just brings everything down.

Finally, the acting. It's not as good. Period. I know Tennant is a hard act to follow but I just don't believe Smith as the Doctor. He doesn't seem old, he doesn't seem wise. He feels like a smart college kid who knows tons of stuff but doesn't really know anything. When the doctor was crying in the episode, The Doctor's Wife, I didn't believe him. And it’s not all Smith’s fault. Moffat was so interested in making it clever, "oh my thief, my thief" (which was embarrassingly easy to figure out) that he never took time to write in an emotional moment before the climax. A perfect time to do that would have been when the Doctor and the Lady are working on trying to build another Tardis. The Doctor should have spared her a glance, he should have watched her work. I need to see that he is thinking out this, about her. Tennant was a master of this. He wove in the subtle looks, the sidelong glances, the smiles and frowns that made him feel real to me. RTD’s writing was overly emotional but it felt real. Like real people. Moffat’s writing feels exactly like that, writing.

As a body of work, I prefer RTD’s overly dramatic, camp-fest to Moffat’s dark, trying to be serious stories. It’s not as Doctor Who for me.

Anyone else look at Deviant Art images?

2011-07-21T08:29:00.001-07:00

Well, it occurred to me the other day that something a lot of artists do really annoys me.

They draw these evocative images with enigmatic titles, (for example, a weeping man standing over the body of a dead woman with the title, "I loved her so much," or some such.) When you go to read the description all you get it, "this picture took me 4 hours to make, I worked with PS3 with such and such filters, rendered with so and so program."

Drives me bonkers! Not everyone on DA is an artist. Not everyone understands or even cares about the technical details of an image. I want to know what the artist was thinking, what inspired them, basically what this image is all about.

I realize that not understanding the technical aspects is my fault but surely artists must be aware that non-artists visit DA. Don't they think there would be some benefit to attaching a haunting story to a beautiful image?

Anyway, just an observation.

SyFy's Neverland

2011-06-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

Video Games Update

2011-06-08T19:17:00.000-07:00

Sonic Generations Official Gameplay Trailer

Devil May Cry 5 Official E3 Gameplay Trailer

Well, at least his hair turns white!

Assassin's Creed Revlations

Ezio is so bad ass!

Assassin's Creed Desmond Journey Teaser Trailer

Sly Cooper 4

2011-06-03T09:30:00.001-07:00

Okay, I did a super short rewrite of the film the way I would have liked to have seen it unfold. I tried to keep as much of the original plot as possible since I am not sure if it will be significant later. The story is in .pdf format. You can read it here. Enjoy!

PS - Please ignore my grammar and spelling errors. I read and re-read things but I never seem to catch the mistakes!

On Stranger Tides

2011-06-02T18:18:00.000-07:00

On Stranger Tides

Let me start off my saying I am a huge Pirates of the Caribbean fan (or Jack Sparrow fan rather) but even massive love of Jack couldn't save this film.

Putting most of the huge mistakes aside (the massive plot holes, the utter lack of character development and the bizzare pacing) my biggest disappointment in this film is Jack's lack of involvement in the overall plot.

Despite claiming to be "hellishly bent" on finding the fountain actually never acted as if he cared about it or the adventure he was on. He was dragged around by everyone else. He never had any reason to be on this adventure. Without Jack working toward some goal, usually contrary to what the rest of the cast desires, it just isn't pirates of the Caribbean for me.

Cee Lo Green's "Forget" You

2011-05-14T13:24:00.000-07:00

Argg! Cee Lo Green! Why do you do this to me?

The "you" in his song goes from being the girlfriend stealing friend to the girlfriend herself.

"I see you [the girlfriend stealing guy] driving around town with the girl I love and I’m like,
Forget you [the girlfriend stealing guy] and forget her too! If said if I was richer, Id still be with ya [the girlfriend]."

I thought he was in love with the friend for a while! (Although that could be my yaoi nature kicking in.)

Tangled is a Twisted Mess!

2011-05-07T10:37:00.000-07:00

I was really disappointed in Tangled. I expected more from Disney. While the graphics were stunning I felt Tangled really lacked in two key areas, character development and story development. I know a lot of people really loved this film so let me explain my reasoning before anyone gets miffed.

Tangled feels like a modern story desperately trying to squeeze itself into fairy tale format. An example of fairy tale format would be Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. Maleficent spends 16 years trying to hunt down and kill princess Aurora for no other reason than her parents snubbed her at a party. We don’t care why Maleficent does what she does. It doesn’t matter. She’s the evil witch, end of story. As for love, Prince Phillip and Aurora take one look at each other and go head over heels. They know nothing about each other. Not even each other’s name. But why they fall in love is not important. It doesn’t matter. It was meant to be. Fairy Tales do not explain motivations, give reason for events or require any character development to make them flow. They simply ask you to believe.

A more modern story set-up, such as Pixar’s How to Train Your Dragon, requires the information and the character development to make it work. It would seem strange otherwise.

The point is unless you plan on creating a complete fairy tale where nothing is questioned you need character development and story development. Tangled starts out like a pure fairy tale but then immediately becomes a modern tale. Unfortunately some aspects remain in the fairy tale format and as a result the story really lacks as complete work.

Character Development
Rapunzel’s Love for her Mother: One of the most critical relationships in this story is between Rapunzel and the woman she believes is her mother. (In actuality she is a witch who doesn’t care about Rapunzel at all and is simply keeping her around for her magical hair.) The witch uses love as weapon to trap and keep Rapunzel with her. The love (or lack thereof) that they have for each other is a massively important plot point but it does not get the treatment it deserves.

In the beginning Disney seems to acknowledge the strength of the child-parent relationship. Rapunzel has a montage where she’s stuck between being thrilled that she's outside for the first time and freaking out because she's hurting her mother's feelings. She says many times in the show that she loves her mother. But Rapunzel doesn’t react strongly enough when she finds out that the woman she thought was her mother for 18 years is actually a witch who doesn’t care about her. This witch might not be her biological mother but she raised Rapunzel, right? So the bond is there. Rapunzel should have been devastated. Even children who are abused and neglected still try to seek their parent’s affection. Instead she suddenly turns into a tower of internal strength and confidence and seems more or less fine when her mother is killed. If this were a fairy tale, this reaction would be fine. She’s evil and now she’s gone. But it isn’t. Rapunzel loves her mother. She says so through-out the story. That love will not just vanish. It may turn into hate or bitterness but it should manifest in some form. There should have been a screaming match or at least some kind of crying and hysterics.

The Motivation of the Witch: Raising a child is very hard work. Pretending to feel someway about someone when you don’t is just as difficult. And yet, the antagonist does both without question. Again, if this were a fairy tale “because” would be the reason, but it’s not. This witch needs character development very badly. Why did she undertake this tremendous task? Why does she wants to keep on living? What is she living for? Is she involved in some massive plot that takes years to unfold? Is she just afraid to die? We need to know something, anything about why she would do what she did.

Flynn: I know a lot of people adore Flynn. As a character he has a lot of potential given his fun and lively personality but unfortunately he comes off very flat. Flynn tries to be a mix between a thief and thrill seeking adventure but he fails at both.

No one really grows up wanting to become a thief. Most characters either must to steal to survive, like Aladdin, become a thief in order to further some political agenda (i.g. Robin Hood) or live in an environment that promotes and encourages that kind of behavior, like Gambit. Flynn has none of these motivations. Nor does he have any of the quintessential personality traits we often see in thieving sorts. He should have been played as a charismatic guy who acts like he cares but is really only out for number one. (This would be enforced by the scene when he ditches his partners in crime after stealing the crown.)

In a thief scenario he should meet Rapunzel, and actively decide himself to use her to further his agenda. Then they fall in love but he is stuck in his ways. He betrays her and leaves her out to dry thinking her influence will leave him but it doesn’t. He returns to save her because he realizes he finally cares about someone more than himself and is “killed.” As it stands now it feels like he's only a thief for the convenience of the plot. This makes him come off as this half-baked, wimpy little funny friend who has no leg to stand on because his only personality trait is not really his.

Let’s say Flynn is played more as a thrill seeker adventurer than a thief. So he’s meandering through his pointless life, desperately trying to find some way to validate his lonely existence. (This would be enforced by his back story about being an orphan.) But a person who would be comfortable jumping into dangerous scenarios and living as a wanted criminal “just for funsies” is not going to be someone who would marry a princess without a second thought. He would value his freedom and his lack of emotional baggage.

In a thrill seeker scenario he can fall in love with Rapunzel but when he finds out she’s a princess (thus being with her would make a consort or even a potential king) he should have an emotional scene and leave her. Then he finds out she’s in trouble, goes back to save her, has a revelation and decides he needs her more than his freedom.

Flynn doesn’t fit any of these molds. He’s just an easy going kind of guy who likes to have fun.

Story Development
Toward the end of the film Rapunzel sees the decorations she has painted all over her room match the décor of the royal place and she realizes she’s the lost princess. I’m sorry but that is weak, weak, weak. How could she remember something from when she was in the crib? This is a pivotal moment for her. She realizes her "mother" is a phony who has stolen her from her parents and her throne and has rerouted the course of her life! There needed to be something much more solid going on here in order for Rapunzel to suddenly become strong enough to confront and emotionally overcome her mother to such a huge degree that her death is accepted as necessary.

If I were writing this I would have Rapunzel have a handicap whereby she’s unable to tell if people are lying because she has no experience with any other humans. As she travels with Flynn (who being a thief would have loads of excuses to lie to her) she slowly starts to learn when she’s being played. When she returns home she questions the mother, “do you love me,” watches her expression and realizes she’s lying. At the end she can ask Flynn the same question and finds he’s not lying.

Unfortunately love is the other story development that just didn’t happen for me in Tangled. I know they didn't have time but they should have changed the set-up in order to bring Rapunzel and Flynn closer together. I can kindasee her falling for him right away. He is the first man she has ever seen. He’s attractive and charming and she bonds to him as they travel.
For Flynn however, there needed to be more content, more scenes of bonding, more introspection on his part. Right now I get the feeling that only he’s interested in her because she is different than anyone else. As it stands now I don't see their bond being strong enough for him to warrant essentially placing himself in a glided prison as her royal mate. They could have made this stronger. She should be the thing that he has spent his life searching for, a purpose and validation which he never had as an orphan. This is a momentous revelation for him. His entire way of life will be altered if he decides to pursue her. We never see that moment for her. The moment when he decides she is it. We get a hint of this feeling in their duet when he says, “this is where I’m meant to be,” but his actions afterwards don’t really reflect any change in him. The story just kinda leads him to her when he should be headed to her himself of his own volition.

The entire story feels very contrived. The characters exist to further the plot instead of the plot revealing the character’s stories to us. While I understand that story is essentially for kids and there are going to be silly issues that go unaddressed, (like why the people of this kingdom don’t have a problem with a virtual unknown claiming to be the next in line to the throne who, on top of having no proof of her lineage, is also possibly going to make a known criminal their new king) but Disney has produced some masterful children’s stories in the past. Compared to another film from this genre, How to Train Your Dragon, this was just sloppy. I know Disney can do better.

Captain Jack, Black Jack and Dr. House

2010-07-28T13:15:00.001-07:00

Hugh Laurie will be appearing in an animated commercial with Osamu Tezuka's Black Jack in order to promote the Japanese DVD release for the fourth season of House. Isn't that fun?! Head Over to Anime News Network for more info.

I gotta say, I'm really glad House is making a reference to Black Jack because some episodes, quite a few in fact, are nearly exact copies of Black Jack stories. House himself makes reference to an outcast doctor he met in Japan referred to as "Black."

In Other news, click the image below to check out the new PoTC 4 teaser trailer on Youtube!

Lyric Nazi

2010-05-18T05:14:00.000-07:00

My mom says I am the lyric Nazi and finally have decided to agree with her. I just cannot enjoy music without picking the lyrics to death. Take for example, Kris Allen's, "Live Like We're Dying."

Let me preface this by saying I really like this song. The melody is catchy and the message is uplifting. That being said, the lyrics drive me insane. For the entire first verse and for half of the second Kris Allen says "we" when singing about the events in the song. So, after seven lines of "we" he suddenly switches to "you" with the line, "so if your life flashed before you..." Drives me nuts! Lemme put the lyrics here in case anyone hasn't heard this song.

Verse 2
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done

Tell me that doesn't make you nuts? Wouldn't it be better to say, "so if our lives flashed before us, what would we wished we would've done?" Or if he has to say "you" he should start the you with the whole gun in the face imaginary (i.e.) "If you were staring down the barrel of a gun and your life flashed before you..." etc.

He does this again in the third verse. He says "if your plane fell out of the skies" and then finishes by saying, "so when we long absolution, they'll be no one on the line."

Makes me nuts, I tell you! Nuts!

As for the refrain, every site says something different so I'll refrain from commenting on those lyrics :)

Still, I like the song!

David Guetta, you fail...

2010-05-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

Anyone here familiar with the song, Sexy Bitch?

In the refrain he says,
"I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful."

And what does he come up with? "Damn, you's a sexy bitch."
Wow, way to go pal. No disrespect there.

Then again, I can see where the guy is coming from. I mean, English is such a limited and constrictive language. I don't think I could describe Johnny Depp without using at least two swear words and mentioning his ass.

I mean, "sexy bitch." Wow, that says it all. No reason to describe the girl or say anything about her appearance. It's just like in fairy tales! "The handsome prince swept the beautiful princess off her feet." Except now it's the "the horny singer wanted to rub his butt against the sexy bitch."

*sigh*

And when he does describe her, he says, "she's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before. Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood hoe."

Disregarding the fact that those sentences are horrendously incorrect, saying she's not like a hoe isn't exactly a compliment. (And just what exactly is a hoe? Is it a prostitute or just a lose woman?)

You know, it wouldn't be so annoying if he didn't say he was intentionally trying to be respectful. So we have to assume, either there is no respectful way to describe this girl or that the singer just has no clue how to be respectful. Either way, David Guetta, you fail.

The Beast Below

2010-04-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

Be forwarned, there are spoilers for the Doctor Who Season 5 episode, The Beast Below, well... below.

I have to say I am disappointed in this episode. Moffet's writing was not what I expected it to be. The behaviour of the characters was inconsistent, the story was convoluted, and there was no message.

Without going into too much detail, I have to say I was sorely disappointed in the doctor's line mentioning that after paralyzing the starwhale he'd have to get a new name. Good grief doc. He has committed numerous unthinkable atrocities and he freaks out because he has to spare some poor creature intolerable pain? Where did this wishy-washy dolt come from? And I cannot believe Amy, a woman so strong she's willing to sacrifice thousands of lives on a hunch, would hit the "forget" button. It didn't seem consistent. And recall the little kid shot down into the stomach of the beast because he got a zero? Is that a direct order of the Queen? The Queen had been making all the rules, right? Is she sending the kids down there because she knows the beast likes them? Or is she just a heartless, callous, monster? If that's the case, then why have the "oh my poor subjects are being fed to a beast," malarkey?

Setting aside the idea that a city on the back of a giant monster floating in space is overused, the original part of the story was far too convoluted. Why cover a powerful core story with over-hyped, scary tripe such as the elevator scene? Why have the "smilers?" It's not necessary. None of it. What was the point in having the queen character turn out to be so old? If it was it to show that even she, someone who (supposedly) cared about her people, would keep making the same bad choices over and over again, it was a very long winded and confusing way to go about it. And what was with the brief and underplayed democracy theme? It seemed like it was going to go someone but never made it. The story was overflowing with tons of ideas that were never fully realized, it's as if Moffet finally got the right to play in the kitchen and threw everything imaginable into the stew.

And my biggest complaint, there was no message. The humans who created this awful war, escaped by torturing the starwhale, and essentially terrorized their populous for hundreds of years, got away scott free. No one changed, no lesson was learned. The humans are the same at the end as they were in the beginning. There was no punishment, no consequence for their actions. So what's the message?

Thoughts on New Earth

2010-01-09T09:10:00.001-08:00

I have to say I was very disappointed in Davies' writing in the Doctor Who episode, New Earth. Davies introduces a fantastic and complicated plot but just cannot continue it through to the end. It feels rather like he is trying to cover a four inch stab wound with a small band-aid. You just cannot wrap up the deep issues this episode brings up with the weak ending he gives us. I don't think Davies has the sophistication to pull this story off.

For those of you who haven't seen New Earth but for some odd reason are reading this anyway, it's about a future Earth where a group of "nuns" grow thousands of pseudo humans in order to inject every known disease into them so they can cultivate catch all cures.

Well, right off the bat we see the story-line start to fall apart. We are told that the the flesh (the nuns refer to the infected as flesh) carry every known disease simultaneously. Yanno, I'm no doctor but I have this tiny sneaking suspicion that no living organism can survive having every single known disease at the same time. Setting aside any real diseases of today (because it could be argued that these are "future disease") let's examine what we are presented with by the writer. In the hospital ward we have a man who's body is turning into stone, which apparently is a slow and painful process while next to him is a another man with a disease which we are told kills you in under ten minutes. How can the flesh have both these conditions when they clearly are at odds with each other? I suppose it could be argued that they host every known disease but only express a few, (bubonic plague by the looks of it) but I feel as if this is a cop-out argument anyway. Unless I am missing something, if your main plot point is completely inconceivable, that's just bad writing.

Settings aside the argument that Davies spends way too much time on Rose's side story and not enough on the main plot, we come to my second big disappointment of this episode, Casandra. She spends the entire episode fighting to stay alive and then, mysteriously, decides it's time to die. Why? Did I miss something? How did she change so quickly? Davies loves to do this to us. On Waters of Mars Brooke spends every moment since she discovers her tragic fate, trying to survive. Then, quite mysteriously, when she is saved she turns around and kills herself! Why? We are not given even the slightest indication by Davies that she has changed her mind let alone why she has done so. This is bad writing, pure and simple.

As a small side, Casandra mentions that Rose is genetically 100% human but that line is wasted because that idea is never brought up in the story. Instead we have a five minutes scene of Rose basically feeling herself up. -.- I like Rose, I really do, but Davies concentrates on her too much and makes her too romantic toward the doctor while Moffet makes her kinda.. well.. unattached. Poor Rose.

My third and final point, the ending. After introducing a complicated issues with huge moral implications Davies wraps it up very weakly. The flesh escape and the Doctor (I don't blame you poor man...err time lord) mixes up every known antidote together (of which there are ten mind you) and sprays them over less than six infected people who, in turn, touch each other and magically pass it along to the other, oh I dunno, ten thousand people!? Really? C'mon Davies! Come on man! You gotta do better than this! I mean, you have no choice! This is bad writing. This is worse than fan fiction! Are the nuns going to be punished? How will society feel about these less intelligent human race? Are you going to address anything that matters other than Rose!?

I would have written this episode completly differently. There must be some consequence to the actions taken by the nuns. I would have ended with the doctor having to burn down the locked hospital or maybe having the flesh spread to the outer city kill everyone but themselves but then, like the nuns wanted, create a race of people immune to everything. There should be, there has to be something to learn. There has to be something to take away.

Sk8ter Boy

2009-12-07T06:44:00.001-08:00

I started thinking about the lyrics to Avril Lavign's "Sk8ter Boy" the other day and I get the feeling that Lavigne is, on some level, punishing "ballerina girl" for her decision not to date skater boy. You could even say that the song was an attempt to humiliate her. (Not necessarily in the dramatic sense but more of a, "look what I have that you don't" sort of feeling.) She says that ballerina girl "looks up at the man that she turned down." "Looking up" at someone is usually associated with rank. You look "up" at someone who outranks you (aka makes you feel small.) Lavigne is saying that ballerina girl made a big mistake. But did she? Let's examine.

Let me start by saying that I don't personally know Lavigne so I cannot comment on whether or not this relationship is fictional or otherwise. I am ONLY commenting on the situation as referenced in the song.

First off, we don't know if the "she's just a girl" (a.k.a. ballerina girl) and the "he's just a boy" (a.k.a. skater boy) are in high school or university. I would assume it's high school because university students aren't as well known for cliques but since she's got a baby 5 years later, we can assume it's either last year of high school or first year of university when the fateful meeting occurs.

The reason the timeline is significant is because of the relationship ballerina girl has with her friends. If she is like most people, the friends she makes in university will stick longer than the friends she makes in high school. According to the song, when she sees "skater boy rocking up MTV," she calls these friends. Okay here is where I start making assumptions.

If these are high school friends then ballerina girl cannot be that shallow. How many friends from high school do you regularly keep updates on? Since she calls them up I assume she has their numbers which, five years later, must certainly have changed a fair few times. She cares enough about these friends (a.k.a. the baggy pants haters) to keep current information on them. Therefore the information they gave her about the boy should and was taken to heart. Perhaps what Lavigne thinks of as shallowness is in fact just a cultural difference. No matter how much you "like" someone the relationship will not work long term if you have nothing to communicate about. Since ballerina girl does, well, ballet, we assume Lavigne is saying she has more refined taste than skater boy which could be why she rejects him, as opposed to the idea that "she's just being a bitch."

As for her sitting "alone" instead of automatically assuming that he dumped her after knocking her up perhaps we can speculate that the father of the baby is just not home or perhaps that he passed away? Or that she left him because he was abusive? Or even that they aren't together but still communicate. As for the baby, I don't see anything inherently wrong about having a baby. She's feeing the child so it must be less than 3. Let's assume the "worst case scenario."

If ballerina girl graduated high school at 18 and five years later had a three year old child she would have gotten pregnant at 19/20. She was old enough to make an informed decision. It's not the same as being pregnant at 16. Plus the idea of finger pointing ballerina girl as "being a slut" is not something that can be easily attributed to her. In keeping with the lyrics a girl who would reject skater boy for having less refined taste would not leave school and get pregnant right away.

Now, let's examine this wonderful prize Lavigne boasts about, skater boy.

Lavigne thinks skater boy is worthy because he's on MTV and making a living playing music but that's only her opinion. Having money and fame and playing music for a living might not be for everyone. Perhaps ballerina girl wanted a nice quite life with an intellectual? Why should we give value to skater boy just because he's famous? Famous doesn't equal better.

The song claims that skater boy was rocking up MTV to show "pretty face just what's he's worth." Ouch! So if we are to assume the lyrics are true, everything he has done to come to this point is because needs to prove himself to one girl who rejected him in high school. His current girlfriend even wrote a song about his rejection. I can't speak for anyone else but that sounds pretty insecure to me. Skater boy might be suffering from low self esteem but even worse than that, he seems to have obsessed over this ballerina girl for all those years.

So what we have here is a weak, insecure and potentially obsessive guy. I predict that if ballerina girl plays her cards right she will be able to get this guy. But seriously, who would want him?

Twilight Music Video

2009-11-23T13:07:00.000-08:00

Whelp, I broke down and made a Twilight MV. Download it out on my Website or view it on my Youtube channel.

Crazy Few Months

2009-11-15T05:29:00.000-08:00

It's been a crazy few months for me. I keep thinking my life is going to go one direction and then it changes, again. I feel a bit like a plane that can't land. Anyway, onto the fun stuff. I made a ton of new videos so check them out on my Website.

PS - The new Star Trek movie will be out on DVD in two days! I can't wait to watch Spock's birth scene!

Screen Capture Program

2009-11-11T18:26:00.000-08:00

I am testing SnapIt Screen Capture Software from DIGEUS.

I'm excited to give it a go!

Wolverine anime

2009-11-02T10:44:00.000-08:00

They are making a Wolverine anime. Not a cartoon. No. An anime. I am... at a loss for what to say here.

Is this good? Is this bad? I think I am in shock.

For years and years the West tried to de-Asian anime by dubbing names, editing background, changing entire plot line and now they take an extremely famous Western idea and re-invent it as completely Japanese?

I think I don't like it. I didn't like it when they tried to make YST into Ronin Warriors and I don't like them making Wolverine into ..well that thing on the left. At least Wolverine speaks Japanese.

I mean people... wasn't the Wolverine manga painful enough? And how about that awful CLAMP-esque bishounen X-Men in academy mess?

*sigh* I guess I am a purist. Anyway, visit here for more news and a teaser trailer.

Shallow Introspections

2009-10-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

I am one of those people that can have deep introspective insights and yet manage to remain completely shallow.

For example, I was thinking the other day about fandoms, more specifically my favorite characters. Other than just saying, "well, I like him/her best" I started to ask myself, why? Why do I like this individual, this personality, over another? Then I realized something. The characters, personas and personalities I am attracted to are either 1) people that are like myself, or 2) people that have a trait that I desire to emulate.

Take Spock from Star Trek. At a first glance, you would think that Spock is quite possibly the complete anti-thesis of me. He is quiet, reserved and analytical while I am much more like Scotty or Captain Kirk. The more I thought about it however, I realized that there are some core facets of Spock that are identical to mine. For example, Spock is stuck between two worlds, Vulcan and human, so to speak. Like him, I am stuck between two very different cultures, Turkish and American. The various cultures have extremely different values and sometimes it is very difficult to balance them.

On the other hand we have characters that I wish I could be more like, Orphen, Black Jack, Sherlock Holmes, Utena, Haruka, Lina Inverse, etc. These characters are always effortlessly "cool" while managing to also be intelligent, spirited and deep. Of course, when you don't have to eat, sleep or go to the bathroom it's easy to be perfect.

What about you? Why do you like the personalities you do?

New Web site

2009-10-03T21:17:00.001-07:00

My Web site, Raccoon Thief is up. Have a look. Drop a line if something is off ^.^

Pandorum

2009-10-01T18:46:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Pandorum and I gotta say, I really enjoyed it. You can check out the trailer here.

Now, I am not a fan of idiotic films. I especially can't stand sci-fi films that don't even follow the laws of physics (I am looking at you Sunshine.) While it definitely had elements of the typical "crappy video game" sci-fi thriller, Pandorum just seemed to work.

I don't want to say too much about the plot, suffice to say that humanity had ruined Earth and has now sent people out in generation ships to a planet called Tanis to repopulate. During the trip something goes horribly wrong (typically in these types of films, the plot.) The main character then wakes up from hypersleep and finds out he has to reach the nuclear reactor and stop the ship from shutting down. And that's just one tiny portion of what happens in this film.

There are some great special effects. There are some really creepy Resident Evil/Final Fantasy type concepts and there are a couple of nice twists and turns. There are also unnecessary time wasting scenes thrown in just for "excitement" (cannibal crewmen, wtf?) And some even more obvious plot devices. Still, I never felt as if I wanted to put the popcorn bag over my head in disgust.

I wish I could say the same about the trailers. The film, The Fourth Kind, made me want to vomit into my popcorn. I'm sorry but someone please tell me why an super advanced civilization that has mastered time and space would travel millions of light years only to hide out in Alaska disguised as owls and insert anal probes into the local residence? What are the hoping to find? Seriously, other than being an insane Twin peaks rip-off, this POS was made simply to scare people. It has absolutely no basis in reality or logic.

Anyway, enough ranting. Go see Pandorum. Aside of being substantially less stupid the main character looks like Tom Felton. ^.^

Twilight is getting dim...

2009-09-29T14:21:00.000-07:00

Heroes isn't the only fandom I am having issues with lately.

BTW - If you are crazy in love with Twilight please stop reading now. I know that people have different reactions to things and this is mine.

Lemme preface by saying I do not hate Twilight, but nor do I love it. Meyer has a more accomplished style of writing than some authors but she is nowhere near as clever, innovative and sophisticated a storyteller as J.K. Rowling. Of course, that is my opinion. However, I am not interested in writing a comparison of the books. My issues is with the last Twilight novel, Breaking Dawn.

Again, if you know me, you know that I am resistant to anything too new. I do not trust the judgement of the masses so it takes me rather a long time to catch up with the popular trends. (They have to prove themselves so to speak.) However, at everyone's instance I went ahead and read Twilight after the first film came out.

The books are cute enough as far as teenage vampire romance novels go. Like I said, not brilliant but thoroughly enjoyable. As of the fourth book however I have noticed a trend in Meyer's writing that really irritates me, the dreaded deus ex machina.

Bella is confronted with the tough choices in life that, in a less dramatic way, we all have to make. The author builds and builds and builds these events up and then suddenly, everything is cleared up by circumstances outside of Bella's control. More and more I see Bella not having to make those tough choices.

SPOILERS - You Have Been Warned

To name a few...

Bella is worried about becoming a vampire and missing out on human experiences, i.e. pregnancy. Well, along come the god machine and Bella is magically pregnant with a baby on fast forward.
Bella is worried about having to become a vampire because she'll have to leave her human life behind. Well once again deus ex machine to the rescue. She gets so destroyed by the baby that they have to make her a vampire to save her life. Cop out!
Bella is worried because she'll have to tell her father she's marrying Edward. Her dad passes the responsibility to her mom who magically accepts the one things she has always warned Bella against because it seemed right. WTF...
Bella is worried about having to spend a year of her life as a mindless newborn vampire but somehow she is magically immune.
Bella is worried that her chosing Edward over Jacob is going to destroy their friendship (which she seems to hold dear.) However, as soon as she becomes a vampire Jacob suddenly falls out of love with her because he imprints on Bella's daughter. Seriously Meyer, what a let down. We spent two, if not three books, angsting about this romance only to have it magically erased? Very disappointing. Bella has made her choice. She chose Edward. She should have to live with that knowing what it will do to Jacob.

I found the fourth book filled with these escapes. Bella isn't having to make those tough choices and it really leave me unfulfilled as a reader.

Aside from that, I also feel that Bella!Vampire is a very unlikable character. As a vampire, Bella loses everything that made her charming, her clumsiness, her insecurities, her worries. Even her personality changes. She starts referring to Jacob as a "mutt" or "dog" and other derogatory terms. The only facet that remains of her original personality is her love for Edward and frankly, that isn't enough. Her love seems more like an obsessive attachment now than a true longing. It's becoming a cliche of itself.

At any rate, I have half the book. I really hope it wraps up cleanly or I will not be buying anymore books from Stephenie Meyer.

Heroes: Season 4 The Plot Holes Have Spring a Leak

2009-09-29T13:15:00.000-07:00

This new season of Heroes is starting to worry me a bit.

I have two major areas of concern:
They are spending too much time on Claire, there is not enough character development and the series is not focused enough.

Three! I have three major areas of concern.

BTW - If you didn't get that, stop reading this and go watch Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition sketch, now.

Spoiler Warning

Concern 1: They are spending too much unnecessary time with Claire. The entire restaurant scene last night was a perfect example. What did we learn? Only that Claire wants to take control of her life and not have her dad helping her. Don't tell me, show me. All this extra time with Claire feels tacked on and lessens the importance of her characters. I love Claire and I find myself saying, "ugh another stupid Claire scene. Who cares?"

Concern 2: There is not enough character development lately. Again, last night during Matt Parkman's dialogue with Sylar the topic of love came up and Daphne wasn't even mentioned. That really lessened the reality of the character for me. It's very hard for me to exist in that world for that hour, so to speak, when they actions of the characters feels contrived. Like a plot point just to illustrate another facet. Did Matt really love her? Show me that. All I see is him flipping through women every time his circumstances change. And not just Greg's character. It seems circumstances change for all of them but they never seem to change. It feels like every season takes place in parallel dimension.

Concern 3: Because of issue one and two the series is starting to feel loose. The longer the series runs the more the plot holes start to leak. The characters are not as strong as they once were because the story doesn't give them a chance to grow, to learn, to change and the unnecessary concentration on nothing just emphasizes this. I love Heroes but unless they run a tighter ship this show is going to sink.

Disney might recast the role of Jack Sparrow

2009-09-25T06:04:00.001-07:00

You can read more about this tragedy here on Screen Crave.

I can't image who they could cast to be Captain Jack? Who can play this role like J.D. can? I really hope Johnny changes his mind about this. I assume that he must have held Cook in high esteem but for fans of the PoTC trilogy his departure doesn't directly affect us, yet if JD doesn't play Jack or they just don't make the films the fans will be deprived. As selfish as it is to say, I really wish Johnny would take the role and do the best he can. It might not be as much fun as before but acting is his job, he shouldn't prioritized fun. After all, in the end, the fans are what make people famous.

Then again, it's easy to make judgements when I don't know the circumstances. From what I have ever read about JD, he doesn't seem the type to be affected by the actions of a lesser person. If Depp is this upset over Cook departure then Cook must have been a good man, and if this good man suddenly leaves Disney under mysterious circumstances then it makes Disney look really shady. In all honestly, I have had reservations about Disney every since that rat Isner took over. It just lost something.

But still, I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in JD. As much as he cared for Cook and as much as his departure reflects badly on Disney, it is ultimately the fans of the series who are going to lose out.

If anyone can get JD's ear, please remind him that millions of fans are anxiously waiting. Faithful fans will support his decision mo matter what, but I'm sure, like me, they can't help but feel let down.

Claire the lesbian...

2009-09-23T07:03:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh I hope this isn't true. If it is I will be so dissapointed.

Before I even begin let me say that I have nothing against lesbians. Some of my favorite characters of all time Utena and Haruka are gay. Putting aside the whole, "why don't they do this with male characters," feminest issue, what I am upset about is the fact that the writers (but I am looking at you Kring) seem to just be throwing this in because it's 'sexy.'

Gimme a break. Claire is not gay. She can't be making out with West in season three and then start exploring lesbians feelings with Gretchen a scant season later. She's never even had a serious boyfriend, how can she know she doesn't want that?

Claire is a seriously headstrong character but in this new season she's acting really wishy washy. I know she said she wanted to re-invent herself but this is not Claire. It's just plain OOC. Again, let me re-iterate. I am not against lesbians. If they wrote something OOC for any character I would be upset. I dont' see Claire being gay anymore than I can see HRG falling in love with Sylar. It just feels like a desperate, stupid move on the part of the writers to make the series more edgy.

This scenario is right up there with the last book of the Vampire Chronicles where Lestat discovers Jesus and reads the Bible. *ff look* Really people, get real. You can't go that far left from the original idea and expect fans to swallow it. I mean, at least Lestat had hundreds of years to change. Claire has just started university.

Still, nothing is absolute yet. In the preview for the next episode all we saw was Claire and Gretchen fighting so maybe the writers will get smart and completely drop this insulting plot line.

Little Prince Q

2009-09-21T11:01:00.001-07:00

Does anyone else think that The Little Prince is actually a Q?

The Master Sword

2009-09-21T10:37:00.000-07:00

My friend just sent me this picture. According to him, some guy commissioned a blacksmith in Scotland to make the Master Sword for him. It took one year and cost $3000. You can read more about it here.

I want a Legend of Zelda sword. I wouldn't mind a blond elf hanging around my house either.

Johnny Depp is re-thinking the 4th PoTC film

2009-09-20T06:35:00.000-07:00

You can read more about this here and about Dick Cook himself here.

Wow, I hope JD doesn't leave the project because of this. He seems disappointed but I think if Ted and Terry have a solid script he should be okay.

Vacation in Destin

2009-09-19T17:22:00.000-07:00

I am so tired.

My family and I got up at 3:00 this
morning to fly to Destin. We
rented a beach house for a week. Tomorrow will be great but today I was so tired I didn't even enjoy the lovely view.

Anyway, the first picture was the view from the plane as we descended to Florida. the lower one is a restaurant called Goatfeathers. The food was all right but the waitress was so harsh! Sher barked the orders and questioned what we ordered. I got some Perrier to drink and she asked me in the loud voice, "what?" Then, when she brought the water, she said here is your Perrier. Only she said Perrier with the worst French accent you have ever heard. Unbelievable. How can she be so insecure? I only ordered water was heaven's sake. Funny thing is her name is Amelia, which means "sweet."

The pictures above are the view from the patio. If I'm not too tired I'll try to take some pictures of the house tomorrow.

ZQ as L3

2009-09-17T09:47:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else think that Zachary Quinto looks just like Lupin 3rd in this picture?

That man is so versatile. He just looks like everyone.

PoTC 4th Film Title Announced

2009-09-17T09:01:00.000-07:00

The fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie will supposedly be called "On Stranger Tides." You can read more about the story on Slash Film. You can also see a snippet of Johnny Depp's appearence (as Captain Jack) at Disney's D23 Expo.

.

It's just disgusting how awesome Johnny Depp is. Truely.

Live Action Yu-Gi-Oh!

2009-09-17T08:42:00.000-07:00

Wow, live action Yu-Gi-Oh could either be really awesome or really, really awful (think Dragon Ball.)

Get the full story on ANN.

Powerful Women are Bitchy Men

2009-09-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

Watching the first season of Project Runway and I gotta say Wendy's behavior on the show really annoys me. Whether her over-the-top actions were faked or not is a matter of debate but what upsets me is that she feels she needs to be a bitch to get ahead.

I don't understand why women feel that they need to act either like bitches or men to get ahead. Why should a woman have to sacrifice her feminine traits to be accepted as a professional? It makes women who have more of the classically associated feminine traits, soft spoken, emotional driven, caring, etc. feel as if they can't compete in the "real world."

I realize, of course, that not all women behave like bitches or men, but no one can deny that there is a stigma out there that they should. You gotta be tough to make it big but you don't see men turning into vicious bastards or manufacturing false personalities to get ahead.

Selfish Selflessness

2009-09-15T04:35:00.000-07:00

I wrote about this the other day on Twitter.

Can any act truly be selfless? (I define selfless as an act that does not benefit the person performing it.) Let's take the ultimate act of selflessness, self sacrifice. I'll use an example from the show Supernatural.

(BTW, if you haven't seen the show but intend to, I suggest you stop reading so you don't spoil anything.)

When Daddy Winchester gives up his soul to a demon in exchange for saving his dying son, most people would find that a completely selfless act. But for Winchester senior, the thought of living without his son is more painful than being tortured in hell. In other words, he would rather burn in hell forever than live a full human life without his kid. He has made a choice that benefits him as well.

Same thing applies when Dean gives up his soul to bring his brother back from the dead. Dean would prefer to give up his soul and go to hell rather than live without his little sib. He chose the alternative he can more easily live with.

Of course none of this really matters in the real world. Whether an act of selflessness was completely altruistic is irrelevant. The act is so grand that the motives are seldom questioned. However, when you are talking about the psychology of non-human entities, i.e. mazoku, it comes into play.

Mazoku are a race of supernatural beings usually found in Japanese legends. In this example I will use Xelloss from the anime Slayers.)

Mazoku are are similar in nature to sociopaths (you can read more about the comparison on my live journal entry Mazoku as Sociopaths.) They can feel only a limited range of emotions, more specifically only selflish ones. Mazoku are absolutely incapable of performing a selfless act because it will destroy them. (I still have my doubts on this. Why then did Xelloss save Phyria when the cave was collapsing?) But if they can justify to themselves that any and every act is, in essence, selfish then they will be free to feel the entire range of human emotions. (In theory anyway.)

Then again perhaps a mazoku can only experience those emotions that always benefit them more than others. This is getting kit picky but you get the idea.

Interesting, yes, no?

Random Thought: Heroes & Morality

2009-09-14T19:23:00.001-07:00

Most of my thoughts tend to come out at night, more specifically about five minute after I shut my eyes. I don't know why it is that my neurons start firing after I've officially declared myself dead to the world. Maybe God has a very dry sense of humor.

At any rate I was thinking about the NBC show Heroes. If the law of the land says you must help a person in danger as long as you don't harm yourself (the good Samaritan law) then would that make someone like Claire, who can never get injured, responsible for all the lives she physically reach in time? Or if Hiro can teleport anyplace in the world is he responsible for the lives of starving people in Africa? (My apologises Africa. I realize people on other continents are starving as well but you still sound the most cliche.) If you can save someone but chose not too are you accountable for their life? Let's say that Nathan ignores an obviously distressed person stuck on a roof in New Orleans because he has to get to a meeting. If that person dies, does that make him responsible? Should he be held to the good Samaritan standard just because of his abilities?

It's tricky, yes, no?

Welcome to Random Fandom

2009-09-14T17:39:00.001-07:00

My name is ZZ and I am writing this blog, Random Fandom, mainly for myself. If I amuse you feel free to follow me on Twitter, LiveJournal, FACEBOOK or check out my Web site (currently under construction.)

Okay check out my Web site later.

Anyway, I probably won't have much up at the moment because I am running around like crazy looking for an apartment and a job in L.A. Moving (hopefully) at the end of October.

Wish me luck!